...

Because Everybody Likes Jewelry.

2009-07-29T12:55:00.000-04:00

Of course everybody likes jewelry, and if you don't, I seriously question your sanity. And what's even better than plain old jewelry? Free jewelry. Interested in winning $200 worth of Lushae Jewelry? Well Jewelry Art Designs is holding a contest where you can do exactly that! It's very simple, really; all you have to do is copy and paste a badge from their website onto a blog, a profile, or any kind of website you own like so:

Then enter your name, email, and blog address in the entry form here and that's it, you're entered to win!

Any questions? Drop the people at Jewelry Art Designs a line!

Model Ruslana Korshunova dies in fall from NYC Building

2008-06-29T00:21:00.002-04:00

A model who walked runways around the world and graced the covers of fashion magazines fell from a Manhattan building Saturday in an apparent suicide, New York City police said.

Ruslana Korshunova, known for her distinctive long hair and green eyes, was apparently killed in the fall at 2:30 p.m. onto busy Water Street outside the Financial District condo building where she lived.

It appeared she fell from the balcony of her ninth-floor apartment, police said, where a large hole was visible in construction netting hanging on the front of the 12-story building.

Investigators were still examining the scene late Saturday, but a police source said there was no sign of a struggle in the apartment. It was unclear if anyone else was in the apartment at the time of the fall or if a suicide note was found. The city medical examiner is to determine the cause of death.

You can read the rest of the article at the source.

Honestly, she was one of my first favorite models when I first started getting into fashion, so this really shook me up.

RIP RUSLANA

A MESSAGE FROM THE MOUSE SHOES

2008-06-09T21:14:00.004-04:00

The shoes have spoken.

Hello there all! As you may or may not know, we are Dilemma's precious MBMJ mouse shoes. We're here because that lazy ass is too busy sitting around rewatching gory zombie movies and flipping through stacks and stacks of magazines to want to notify her readers (if they still exist) that she is not, in fact, dead.

Rude!

So we thought we'd take it upon ourselves to update, and let me tell you that it is pretty hard typing when you have no hands. We will be happily accompanying her on a family trip next week, but after that I'm pretty sure we've heard her talking about actually blogging again after she returns. And we hope to God that her sudden burst of productivity will motivate her to start cleaning her room; this place is a pig-sty, and thus completely unsuitable for our fabulousity to be chillin' in. You know?

Anyway, we can safely assure you that Dilemma is hoping that you're all having a wonderful and relaxing summer so far. We're sure glad that school is over because man, did we hate being gawked at everytime Dilemma wore us into class. Those bitches know they're just jealous of our beauty.

xoxo

The Mouse Flats

History Lesson!

2008-04-19T17:20:00.010-04:00

Here's a bit of Civil War trivia for you History buffs:

Did you know that the reason the Confederate soldiers were going to Gettysburg was because they were in search of shoes? And that in search of their ~~3 inch strappy mules~~ manly work boots, they spotted the Union soldiers and all hell broke loose?

Shoes: in ur Gettysburg, causing ur bloodiest battle in United States history.

Yes, that is a screen cap from my very own personal copy of Marie Antoinette. It's become one of my favorite sources of mindless entertainment (and I found that if you watch it in French, Kiki Dunst is much less annoying). Oh how times have changed.

Caroline's A Victim

2008-03-30T14:14:00.008-04:00

I am enraged. I have to wait until 10:00 to watch the new ANTM episode because of some Phillies game. WHAT IS GOING ON WITH THE WORLD?

So I decided to do a post on two things I want to love, but can't be too sure about.

I.

Kate Nash is my new favorite musician. A post soon to follow on her sartorial choices to follow, but until then, I felt the need to share her video for Caroline's a Victim.

Do we love it? Do we hate it? Is the girl dancing around in shutter shades and lurking myspace too much scene to handle?

It's catchy. I want all of Kate Nash's clothes. And maybe Caroline's room. I'm seriously planning on a mega-post of things that are inspiring me, and Kate Nash is number one on that list.

II. Do you think that this clip from Party Monster, How To Be Fabulous, directly influenced the decision making process behind wanting these (faux) snakeskin platforms?

They just look like they belong there, amongst the gold lame pants/leggings and glittery jacket that Seth Green is wearing. That's reason enough for me to wear my lame leggings proudly! But the shoes...to put it in Tim Gunn terms-they worry me.

The Misadventures of Dilemma and The Black Skirt

2008-03-26T00:13:00.004-04:00

For years and years, I've been in possession of a skirt. The skirt in question is black and puffy, bought on sale at Anthropologie for about $20. It is clearly meant to be worn as a hip hugging skirt, and me + poofy hip hugging skirt that hits mid-knee = no good. I look positively stumpy, and who wants that?

Sometimes when I'm running out of things to wear, and I'm standing all frazzled at the base of my closet with piles of clothes on the floor, I find myself gawking at it in disgust. Why did I ever buy such an unflattering and hideous piece of clothing?

Poor black skirt - all too soon I was getting ready to give up on it and send it in a Hefty bag down the river (to the nearest Goodwill). That is until tonight in a stroke of something I can only describe as the most clear headed moment of my life, when I realized with the help of a fabulous gold and white skinny belt, that it can transform into my dream skirt! I've successfully transformed and tamed it into being a high waisted (and with a tug here and there "paper bag" waisted) skirt that I've always desired! Yes!

Pink Slip - Came with this Forever 21 dress
Black Skirt - need I reiterate?
Belt - Thrifted
White Shirt - H&M

Pose wise and picture wise, I can sum it up simply: The FashBot, I am not.

My face often resembles that of the old woman who crawls out of the bathtub in the Shining (or better yet, Dominique from this cycle's ANTM) when photographed. Somehow my favorite outfits become lumpy and shapeless. What's a non photogenic girl with a terrible camera to do?

As Tyra would say, in the midst of all the crappy, over posed, "this is not high fashion AND I WOULD KNOW BECAUSE I'M TYRA BANKS BITCH" photos (cough cough cough), there always has to be a money shot.

Team Smile With Your Eyes, out!

My Heart, Oh My Heart

2008-03-09T13:19:00.011-04:00

Shoes that are inspiring me for this Spring/Summer

Yes, I cheated a bit because the Rodarte shoes and the Agatha Ruiz De La Prada shoes are for F/W 08 and not spring, but how can you blame me? Those Rodarte shoes are so hot. They look like fetish wear, and the heel looks spikey enough to be perfect for pulling a Single White Female-esque stab in the eye.

The hearts on the Agatha Ruiz De La Prada shoes liven up an otherwise plain black/brown leather boot. Not that there's anything wrong with the latter, I have more plain black boots then I care to count.

The Anthropologie shoes have been haunting me ever since I received the catalog in the mail and promptly glued them into my fashion journal. The carved heel is reminiscent of the Miu Miu Carved Heels from a few seasons ago. They make me want to wear long bohemian flowing skirts or paisley mini dresses, tuck flowers in my long wavy hair, and dance around in a field like a hippie. Not that I really know anything about true hippies, but Hollywood has told me all I need to know about the fake hollywood-idealized concept of a hippie, didn't they?

Belinda Heels-Bakers.com. Jeffrey Campbell Boots-Urban Outfitters.

Here are some shoes I actually own that I can't wait to play around with for spring.

Side Note: The Urban gold jazz shoes get compliments from everyone, everywhere I go. Even the guys at my school thought they were fierce as hell, which is unusual. It just goes to show you that everyone is a sucker for a gold shoe, even 14/15/16 year old boys who talk incessantly about death metal, Spongebob, and "banging" a copious amount of girls(which I refuse to believe because some of them seem to have barely hit puberty for Prada's sake!).

Now this is so much like me it's scary. I knew there was a reason I chose to write about Rodarte for a school paper. Laura and Kate Mulleavy, god bless you and your wonderfully unwearable collections.

The End is Nigh....

2008-02-29T21:27:00.008-05:00

Reason number one? No it's not that pesky global warming, it's the fact that there are 27 bids on a $35.00 pair of Cory Kennedy's dirty socks that apparently "smell like redbull".

I guess "Redbull" must be a new synonym for "rotting flesh."
Another invaluable lesson learned, brought to us by the gracious folks of the Cobra Crew.

To the future owner of Cory Kennedy's used socks: have fun with that AIDS!

"Whine whine whine I just don't get spending $2,000 on an outfit whine whine whine."

2008-02-27T20:35:00.006-05:00

Cram it, potato face. Nobody asked for your opinion. $2,000 is cheap! Allow me to demonstrate my point by swinging my $8,500 Black Hermes Birkin directly into your scrawny kneecaps...

--------------------------------SPOILER ALERT---------------------------------------

Oh well, just one less bitch my girl Claire has to compete against. And Stacey-Ann gets to stary around a few more episodes providing me with happiness and joy!

OH.....AND.....HOW....MUCH....DO....YOU....LOATHE....THE.....SCROLLING.....TYRA....MAIL?.....LET....ME KNOW.....PEACE.....OUT.....Y'ALL!

Live It. Learn It. Love It.

2008-02-21T19:47:00.046-05:00

Besides a good gore fest, there is no kind of movie I love more than a good teen comedy (but more importantly comedy, obviously). Detroit Rock City(which I actually tried to write about once but stopped when I realized it would just be 2,000 words of me doting on Trip the Magnificent), Sixteen Candles, Mean Girls, you name it, I've seen it and loved it. Face it, sitting in front of the TV, vegging out on the sofa and annoying everyone in your house by quoting Clueless word-for-word as you watch never seems to get old and never fails to make you feel better in a time of need.
Significant other dumped you? Your cat Fluffy just croaked? You failed that term paper you spent two weeks writing? Mental breakdown averted! With a trip to Hollywood Video, you too can recover from a severe emotional blow!

I can never truly pin down one that I love more than the rest, since there is a lot to choose from. Of course, I can reach for the stars and try, can't I?

Yes, Jawbreaker. Compare it to Heathers all you want, it doesn't change the love I have in my heart and will continue to have in my heart until the line, "life's a bitch, then you die" stops being funny.

The lowdown on the fabulous four in Jawbreaker is that they are pretty, popular, and better than you as most popular girls in these stories are. And of course, there's that geeky awkward Botany Club enthusiast nerd Fern Mayo who would sell her soul to be inducted into the clique. More importantly, she worships Liz Purr, the Good Witch of the group.

Enough of the synopsis, this a post about the style featured in the movie. IMDB that shit if you really want the 411 that badly.

This movie was made in the nineties (obviously) and therefore there was use of all things too tight, too loud, and too crimped. If you open up your mind and get past the fact that yes, there may be be instances where scrunchies are picture, then you will begin to see the potential within.

I interpreted the stylistic choices of Jawbreaker and turned it into a corny, ridiculously mundane....

Who is Your Jawbreaker Style Twin?

Yes! A quiz! I know what you're thinking. "Oh my God...this is going to go downhill very quickly, isn't it?" And you would be correct! Let's begin.

1. You've just accidentally killed your best friend, how do you decide to hide it?

A)You strap on a corset and short skirt, manage to seduce a seedy old Marilyn Manson lookalike from the nearest bar and have sex in her old bed. You can and will make this look like a rape, dammit. Even though your deceased friend is a virgin and would therefore exhibit no physical signs of rape. Whatev! Continuity is so 2007!

B)You follow whatever plan your alpha female best friend has and spend the night stuffing your face with Dibs. All this guilt is making you an emotional eater and you are having major trouble fitting into your wardrobe.

C)You don't. You want to go the police and confess, but you know that your other friends would turn it against you in the end. Having a conscience is so cramping your style right now.

D)You keep it bottled up inside and start to have nightmares. You reinvent yourself and buy a whole new wardrobe to deflect your feelings.

E)You don't. You go straight to the police, but not before consulting your family. You're more concerned about the victim's family than about the possibility of being socially annihilated.

2. Your ideal man would...

A)Be the most popular guy in school, captain of the football team, yadda yadda. Of course, you know that he is not the brightest bulb in the lamp, and therefore you get off on teaching him how to be kinky. Your first lesson may or may not involve an ice pop called a 'Big Stick'.

B)Any guy with a nice ass. You're not very picky. As long as he worships the ground you walk on and lovingly agrees that you and only you are the HBIC(and not that hot shot best friend of yours). Also, he needs to have a flexible schedule. After all, you need to be available at the drop of a hat in order to keep up with your schedule of major butt kissing.

C)The male lead in the school play. He's moderately cool, gorgeous, and actually not a complete douchebag(go figure!). You've been into him for quite some time, but now that everyone in your former clique hates you you can finally profess your love for each other without being ostracized.

D)You have no idea. Guys go way over your head. When you start to think about how to approach a guy, you start to sweat profusely and feel like you're going to barf up the tuna sandwich your mom always packs you for lunch.

E)You'd like a nice, sweet, caring guy. It doesn't matter what he looks like, it's what's on the inside that counts.

3. It's prom time! What do you decide to wear for the big night? And remember kids: no glove, no love.

A)Who cares? You know you'll look fabulous in anything, but you throw on some stunning powder blue number just in case. You're a shoe in for prom queen and need to look flawless for the big moment.

B)A dress by a deliciously tacky designer like Heatherette or Betsey Johnson. You want to stun people into submission with a crazy tutu like dress or something similar. Is that a hair crimper I spy??

C)Something traditional. You're more interested in seeking revenge on your former best friend.

D)Something pink, your new signature color. You're more interested in seeking revenge on your former best friend.

E)Something Jil Sander or Calvin Klein. You're so beautiful that a simple gown will just accentuate your looks.

4. What's the perfect song to describe you at this point in your life?

A)Strutter by Kiss

B)I Will Follow You Into the Dark by Death Cab for Cutie (Your dad is taking advice from Oprah that makes him think you're a 'follower'. He can be so annoyingly spot on.)

C)Bethamphetamine by Butch Walker

D)Troubles on My Mind by Holly Golightly

E)Dead! by My Chemical Romance (Ha, see what I did there?)

Mostly A's?

1.Lame Black Skirt 2.Sparkle and Fade Lulu In Hollywood Slip 3.Dolce Vita Missy Oxford 4.Patricia Field Girly Plastic Clutch

You scored highest as Courtney Shane. You're a hot bitch and you know it. But ooh girl, you need to work on that attitude. It's going to get you in trouble one of these days.

Mostly B's?

1.Legendary Necklace by Noir 2.Miriam Sandals 3.Polly Polka Dot Purse 4.Soundgirl - Women's Dress in Shortbread

You scored highest as Marcie Fox. You're a Grade A Brownoser, but you've got a kickass wardrobe. And at least you're in the popular group. It's better to be a wannabe on the inside than a wannabe on the outside. Then not only do you look desperate, but you look desperate and poorly dressed. (Since apparently in teen movies you can't be well dressed if you're a loser. Duh!)

Mostly C's?

1.Denim Zip Jacket 2.Masquerade Platforms 3.Bestie Necklace Set 4.Jackie O Sunglasses

You scored highest as Julie Freeman. Too bad no one cares about you anymore because you threatened to tell a secret about the former inner circle you belonged to. Life is tough, you should be thankful that you still have your looks.

Mostly D's?

1.Heart Sunglasses 2.Sparkle and Fade Cable Knit Tights 3.Minnetonka Fringe Bootie 4.Cotton Spandex Jersey Too Short Tube Dress

You scored highest as Fern Mayo/Vylette. You've always wanted to break out of your nerdy shell and transition into a popular glamazon like the girl you admire most. Soon enough, a twist of fate may give you that chance...

Mostly E's?

1.Dotted Leaflet Halter Dress 2.Pleated Chiffon Blouse 3.Pearl Bead Necklace 4.Kami Dress Pump

You scored highest as Liz Purr. You're the teen dream, the picture of teenage perfection. Well done, you're popular and a sweetheart. Too bad you have 3 freaky ass friends who think kidnapping a person on their birthday should be a routine activity.

Seriously, I can't be the only person who would flip out if my friends thought this was an ok thing to do to me.

In conclusion, what we've learned here girls (and...guys?) is that being a murderer can be fashionable. Don't listen to fashion magazines, killing people is practically the new bubble skirt!

Baby The Stars Shine Bright

2008-01-31T22:03:00.000-05:00

Sure, turbans have officially been 'out' for a few months now. But how can any sane individual look at this and deny it's beauty?

Call it fierce, call it glamourous, call it what you will; I'm going to call it fate. It's only $12.80 at Forever 21!!! Get it while it's still hot, because last time there was a turban type headband on the website it sold out in literally a millisecond.

Tonight is the best night ever. I watched Kamikaze Girls (and took caps so I can hopefully do a post!), American History X is on(so that might put a slight damper on my euphoria, since I always cry at the end), and I may finally get a turban. Now if only it would really start to snow or ice and I could get off of school tomorrow...otherwise I have to do weight lifting in gym class. You can practically feel my excitement, I'm sure.

To Fur With Love

2008-01-29T20:52:00.000-05:00

Excuse the horrible pun in the title. Taking this opportunity to further procrastinate on making revisions to my English paper on Romanticism vs. Realism, I've decided to write about a new clothing obsession! Since in the past, I've made decisions to neglect this blog thinking that I'll write about my new style favorites and two weeks later I start seeing it everywhere; there was feathers, tamer versions of an Amy Winehouse beehive, and countless other instances. This time, cruel world, you will not triumph!!!

Was that weird?

Ah, it's really is nice to be back.

This may spark some negative feedback, but damn I just have to get this off my chest; I love fur. I love the look of real fur, but I just can't get over the fact that it was once a living breathing little creature with feet (tiny little feet!) and eyes. The only fur thing I own is my grandmother's mink wrap, and since it's vintage I feel as if it would kind of be a waste not to wear it. Over the top, floor length furs are definitely not what I'm talking about when I say I like fur. J-Lo is definitely not the look I'm going for. What I'm really looking to buy next is a nice faux leopard print coat or something equally simple. Oh fur, why must you be so tempting?

Fur has popped up in many different designer's Pre-Fall collections in all different forms (my favorite being the embellishment), which I'm sure is going to have PETA all up in arms. So I will most definitely be poking around my local Goodwill and the like for some vintage furs or some nice fakes. Now if only I could find a fake of that blue Nina Ricci number...

As I was lurking Etsy trying to figure out the newest way to spend money, I stumbled across Cherry Pick Vintage, a shop that is offering two gorgeous faux-fur coats (and many other lovely items) that are woe, too small for yours truly.

This coat...this coat is my dream. Versatile, neutral colored, and faux. I think I actually did have a dream about it last night. Along with a scary denim jumpsuit that in a state of severe grogginess when my mom came to wake me I thought was standing by itself in the doorway next to her.

Anywinehouse, I don't have enough to buy it and even if I did, it's sized all wrong for me at an XS-S. Curse my need to eat! My skinny sisters, snatch it up before I have to force myself to go on a diet consisting solely of baby food and crack. Does crack even make you lose weight? I haven't exactly been keeping up on the side effects of the narcotics du jour.

Obviously the more formal of the two, I would find a way to rock this all day, everyday. Can you believe that I just quoted Cha Cha Diva? Oh of course you can. It reminds me somehow of the one my gran gifted me, so I won't be buying such a close match anytime soon. You can find it here for $53.

And before anyone decides to spam my comments with links to PETA videos of live animals being skinned, let me just inform you that I've seen those videos and I think they're appalling(as any normal human being would). Doesn't mean I'm not allowed to covet the fakes and be inspired by the real thing!

PS: What do you think about me changing my url? I want to change it to dilemmathederelictacrobat.blogspot.com, but I'm not sure. It will be the same blog, same Dilemma, just a different home.

Take Me To the Riot

2008-01-22T21:02:00.000-05:00

So far, this Haute Couture season has been underwhelming. But do you know who didn't disappoint?

Galliano for Christian Dior, clearly.

Someone on the runway models livejournal community I frequent mentioned that it looked very Gustav Klimt inspired and I'd most definitely have to agree with that assessment. Some of the geometric prints (emphasis on triangles) are almost identical to those on the coats and gowns.

Rehashed? Yes, these may closely resemble designs of past seasons (personally I do not see any likeness nor do I really care), but:

LOOK

ABSORB

LOVE

ENJOY

OBSESS

The last dress is probably the most incredible thing I have ever seen in my life. It's even better in motion.

The way it sparkles and billows (well to be fair, a silver lame tube dress would probably billow on Vlada R), the colors and the detail you know it must have. Considering the fact that I have no soul, I figure that if someone was willing to give me that dress in exchange for human blood, well let's just say I would be hard pressed to turn down that offer. And besides, I was just saying to my mom the other day how awesome it would be to be a hit man like Denzel in Man on Fire! Didn't care much for the movie itself, but how much do you love those action sequences!? Denzel sticking a bomb up a guy's rectum? GENIUS!

Besides, even if this collection is repetitive, it's got to be a whole lot better than the stumpy legged madness that was Chanel.

Like, I think said rectal bomb from Man on Fire was more inspiring/flattering than this collection. I may never wear flats again.

The Secret World of Haute Couture

2008-01-19T21:33:00.000-05:00

All your questions about Haute Couture answered in the form of the BBC Documentary "The Secret World of Haute Couture."

Highly informative and highly entertaining if you're like me and daydreaming about all the Galliano gowns you could purchase if you find the right billionaire to marry is your idea of a fun time. Special guest appearances are made by Karl Lagerfeld and John Galliano. Glee! Oh Karl, you're a bean.

More seriously though, that kind of lifestyle absolutely intrigues and amazes me (aka I would die if I ever got the chance to live like that). I think the main reason people don't understand haute couture or fashion in general is that they don't understand that particular fascination; why spend so much time, man power, and money on a piece of clothing? There are so many people in our own respective countries and countries worldwide who are dying, starving, and diseased; they wonder how anyone could find this outrageously lavish lifestyle justifiable.

Thoughts? Opinions? Would you ever spend thousands and thousands of dollars on haute couture?

Another One Bites the Dust

2008-01-13T20:40:00.000-05:00

Are you seeing what I'm seeing?

BLONDIE VERSION 2.0 Y'all!

And after Karl paid homage to her signature beehive hairdo and winged eyeliner?

What is this world coming to????

An Ode to Lucky Magazine

2008-01-09T17:59:00.000-05:00

Let's get this out of the way right now; hi, my name is Dilemma, and I am a magazine-aholic. I have literally piles, shelves, and BOXES of all sorts of magazines that I am unable to throw away(I get attached to things very easy). My favorite activity on a quiet day is sitting by the TV with a good zombie movie or one of my Golden Girls DVDS and flipping through old style magazines. Of course, there is one magazine that single handedly steals my heart time and time again.

Was the Hello Kitty tiara too much?

If you don't read or subscribe to Lucky magazine, what are you waiting for? I've been reading Lucky for about 4 and a half years now and it's the only magazine where I can ogle Marc by Marc Jacobs dresses and Missoni shoes but still find amazingly priced goods/websites that are equally appealing(more on that in a post to come). The content is straight to the point clothes, shoes, and beauty products; no diet tips or tired Thin Debate article that reiterates the same crap as all the other magazines are pushing. I love the sections where they "shop with the pros" for beauty products, and the Shopping Report that tells all about stylish boutiques around the country. And the Shoes of the Month Section? Don't even get me started. And you know what? I actually read the things that celebrities say because gasp! shock! surprise! This fashion magazine actually has the celebrities comment about all things style related! No talk about their new crappy movie (or if you want to use show biz lingo and call it a 'project') or how they "try not to get wrapped up" in the "Hollywood party scene" because that's just "not the kind of people they associate themselves with". Reading that stuff is BORING. Maybe some of us WANT to associate with pretentious LA scenester garbage, stop being such a killjoy!

Celebrities aside, my favorite thing about Lucky is the fact that it serves as a starting point for people who are just getting into fashion/and or just starting to experiment with their look. The magazine showcases many different looks for all kinds of personalities, and shows you how to pair basics together to create their own look without, you know, looking like you stepped out of a magazine.

Ah, old reliable. How I love you so.

So mon amis(I CAN HAS FRENCH CLASS?), what's your favorite magazine?

A/N: Eugh, I just visited Isabel's (Hipster Musings) blog and realized that I accidentally copied the title on this post from a recent post she did on an ode Sassy and Ellegirl. This is why I rarely write anything in this blog, because when I do SOMETHING ALWAYS GOES WRONG. DAMMIT. SOMEONE BRING ME WIRE HANGERS SO I CAN HIT MYSELF IN THE HEAD FOR MY STUPIDITY. I know, I really need to stop writing these posts when I'm groggy.

The Neverending Hiatus

2008-01-02T19:01:00.000-05:00

To be honest, I don't really know where I was going with the title. Since I'm posting the hiatus obviously is ending. Rejoice! Rejoice! I'm probably the only one rejoicing, but that's alright.

I kind of wanted to start things off with a hit or miss list, but then I was like, "You ALWAYS start with a hit or miss list after a hiatus, you bore." So instead, I've opted to (as usual) draw on my past and my love for nostalgia to write about my new jewelry obsession.

Do you remember that movie, that AWESOME, GROUNDBREAKING, EARTH SHATTERING movie The Neverending Story? Of course you do, and in remembering that, you remember the very basis of the plotline?

That's right. AURYN It was the magical key into the land of Fantasia. But do you know what I see it as? An inspiring fashion accessory! Yes, I've been obsessed with snake jewelry since some time last year when I saw a ridiculously overpriced AURYN-like necklace at Aldo, but didn't have enough money to fit the bill. My hunt for the perfect snake accessory kind of fizzled out after I moved on to bigger and better fashion issues, but this Christmas my obsession has been renewed!

I ordered this GirlProps snake ring and have been wearing it nonstop ever since it arrived in the mail. I think I could literally reorganize my entire wardrobe around this little piece of heaven.

So as I'm rocking my lovely snake ring one day, my Favorite Store Ever was having a big sale. They're jewelry selection is always major, and I knew I was bound to find something good. Little did I know that I would find the snake necklace that would satisfy my urge for all things snake, reduced from $25 to only $10! Sometimes life is too good to me.

C'est génial, non? Wow, I can't believe I actually remembered that. Maybe it's because we're actually learning things in French now instead of just sitting around doing wordsearches on the first 20 vocab words we learned at the beginning of the year. Anyway, I was looking around for more snake merchandise on Etsy and one of the only things worth mentioning was this necklace. This could be the first gold addition to the snake fest that is currently taking over my wardrobe. ragtrader $18.00

Annnd we're back to GirlProps. I seriously cannot get enough of their website and more importantly, their slogan. "Inexpensive...we never say cheap!" Even though I love the word cheap. If "cheap" had a smackdown versus the ever popular "classy", cheap would kick classy's stingy ass. Metophorically speaking. Whoa, I seriously need to go to sleep.

I recently bought the Rachel Zoe "Style from A to Zoe" book (YES I KNOW SHE'LL ALWAYS BE LEATHERFACE BUT IT'S A FUN BOOK OK) and she mentions and pictures bracelets like this only about 100 times throughout. They look divine and, dare I say it, chic on the toothpicked armed starlets she dresses, so I would try to work this to the best of my ability completely disregarding the fact that I ate almost an entire tin of Royal Dansk (Cholesterol Free, mind you) sugar cookies today. Sigh. GirlProps $6.99.

We'll end in true Dilemma Knows Fashion...fashion, with a pair of earrings that appear to depict snakes throwing up diamonds.

Now that's just plain vulgarity.

2007-12-25T15:06:00.000-05:00

Merry Christmas!

I don't know, I just thought this picture of Chace Crawford is incredibly hilarious. And festive! Well, really the only thing Christmasy about it is the Santa hats I painted on their heads. Nevertheless it's Christmas! And if you don't celebrate Christmas then ~~sucks to be you~~ have a happy and safe Tuesday. New posts coming soon on my obsession with past season Chloe shoes (and the H&M replacements I bought to satisfy my urge for the Chloes), rompers (don't worry I won't actually be wearing one), and much more.

Remember:

Keep it sassy in '08!

And Tyra's Next Top Model Is...

2007-12-12T20:59:00.001-05:00

Crawling out of my comatose-like blogging state to say

BIG SURPRISE.

Ugh. WHY? Now I know how the upset Nata fans felt last cycle. Is that seriously it? How anti-climactic can you get, Tyra?

TEAM HEATHER FOREVER Y'ALL!!!

2007-12-02T13:07:00.000-05:00

It's Christmas time! Ah, the apple cider, the smell of a Christmas tree(or a Yankee candle that smells like a Christmas tree), oldschool claymation movies...and Dilemma Knows Fashion taking a BRIEF hiatus. Everytime we here at DKF headquarters sit down to write, something distracts us. So, until we can get the creative juices a'flowing, we leave you here with some food for thought:

-TopShop is setting itself up around SoHo sometime in September 2008. Yes kids, dreams really do come true.

-COLLAGEN=BAD

-Sister Patterson is not only made of sin, but she is also made of major, epic WIN.

I Love NY Beavers Ass
Uploaded by TheDlisted

"You Mean You Spit on It?"

2007-11-21T23:14:00.000-05:00

Straight up, this has been a horrendous week, only to be topped off by sleeping through Top Model and Gossip Girl. So not cool.

I sat down to catch the 11 o'clock showing of Project Runway and the quality of my life has improved drastically. I was thinking, "who could possibly be the style icon they have to design for? If it's Paris Hilton or Rachel Zoe I will seriously flip my shit. Or maybe it's Karl. I mean, I know that the only fashion person I would be reduced to tears for would be Karl."

And who walks in the door but my favorite woman in the world, SARAH JESSICA MOTHERFUCKIN' PARKER. I let out a squeal of delight which I hardly ever do, but come on now; SJP! Right there on the telly, making my dreams come true.

I know everyone hates her because she has a foot face or whatev, but anyone who can take a foot face and make it FIERCE is alright by me. Even back when I used to abhor Sex and the City I liked SJP. Hello, she stared in cinematic greatness of the 80s! Greatness!

And as if I didn't already love Christian enough, he had to throw around my favorite word ever. Yes, my little real life Marco Del Rossi, it WOULD be fierce if you won.

Blair Waldorf: The Teenage HBIC

2007-11-14T17:43:00.000-05:00

Your daily dose of the fabulous and supremely fierce Blair Waldorf.

WHY MUST SHE BE SO CUTE?

Hey! I was looking at the knockoffs of those exact boots yesterday!

Oh my word, I didn't realize that it was Leighton who played Elisha in, Hangman's Curse! You have no idea how much my love for her has skyrocketed in the past few minutes. That movie was my absolute fave when I was just a wayward child in love with Ian Snyder. Memories!

More Pictures INCLUDING one of my other favorite girl, Little J! Or we can simply call her Jenny, because "Little J" reminds me of Jay Jay the Jet Plane.

Trying to Let You Know Just How Much You Mean to Me

2007-11-11T17:43:00.000-05:00

The title is obviously dedicated to Karl Lagerfeld, for bringing me the shoe to end all shoes. (Only I could take the thoughtful lyrics of a man expressing his intense love for someone and turn them into an expression of my vapid materialistic desires.)

Hot damn.

And now for your daily does of Cobra Crew...

This picture is just precious. Karl's worry wrinkles and pained expression, Mark's neon pink shirt, the whole shebang brings tears of joy to my eyes. Hearing Jade from ANTM recite her famous poem 'Leftover Lady' the exact moment that I type this is also incredibly touching(after all, it used to be my ringtone, and let me tell you; there's nothing like the relationship between a girl and her ringtone). Ah, love is in the air tonight!!

2007-11-02T21:09:00.000-04:00

Picture it, Dilemma's favorite store, November 2 2007. Dilemma spends exactly $27 on Gold Lame Leggings.

DUN DUN DUN!

It all happened so fast. At first, when I picked them up I was thinking, "this is an itch I've just gotta scratch". Then while trying to get my left foot into the footless tight, it cramped up and I had to jump up and down for about a half hour to relieve said cramp. I took it as a sign from the big man upstairs that these leggings were an abhorent idea.

I was wrong. They looked fabulous. Lame leggings do not make my legs appear larger than their actual size.

We here at Dilemma Knows Fashion solemnly swear to wear them will a full skirt/dress and never as pants, and probably with full black boot so that you won't even know that they're leggings.

The moral of the story?

American Apparel Gold Lame Leggings: $40
Dilemma's Gold Lame Leggings: $27
Beating the AA system: priceless

Happy Halloween!

2007-10-31T14:46:00.000-04:00

After much effort went into trying to pose in a sophisticated, classy, Edie-esque way, I got very tiresome and decided to revert back into my usual shtick of being a complete and total nerd.

Now there's something scary you'd only see on Halloween. Ah, the crazed expression, the malfunctioning vampire teeth; Vampire!Edie was somewhat of a success (even though she was intended to be a lot bloodier and corpsier). Too bad the people at school didn't get wind of this (I'm still sick so I got to stay home another day), they probably wouldn't even think I was wearing a Halloween costume.

Tell me; what are you dressing up as for Halloween this year?

"I'll Not Rest Till I Have Me Gold [Shoes]"

2007-10-29T21:37:00.001-04:00

Being in the thoroughly impecunious state I am, one of my favorite activities is obsessively trolling the internet in search of pretty things to buy myself. If I had the cash. I don't know whose influence it is-maybe Blanche from the Golden Girls?-but I've gone into fits of madness over owning a pair of gold heels. I read somewhere that gold shoes are a hooker style staple, which I guess makes sense when you think of Blanche, the Samantha Jones of her time. Soon after declaring my love to the Gold Heel (internally, of course) there was the tragic day a few weeks ago when I happened upon a fabulous pair that would make Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman fall to her knees (har har) and for only 5 dollars! Unfortunately bigfoot over here couldn't force her feet into them (oh and you know I did try) so they were left on the rack next to a pair of used UGG-like boots and white platform flip flops. All by their lonesome, having to fend for themselves. Sigh. Anyway, ever since then much of my internet window shopping attention has been directed to trying to find a pair. I hit the goldmine on CutesyGirl.com where I promptly added nine pairs (nine!) to my Wist list(an absolute must for any internet shopping addict), plus a pair from Patricia Field. It's safe to say that I would pogo a man to death for some gold heels.

1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6.

Speaking of pogo-ing people to death, I was planning on capping Leprechaun in honor of Halloween. Then I realized it is basically just an opportunity for me to take screencaps, force you to scroll through an entry of me being silly by captioning photos of a furry little creature running around killing people. But since this entry is about gold, maybe Leprechaun and his gold-hungry attitude does indeed have an abundance of style merit.

The Night My Life Was Turned Into An Episode of ER

2007-10-26T17:18:00.001-04:00

You can imagine my surprise (and horror) while last night, munching on a Perkins waffle (bacon on the side), I was planning to spend time on a new post in an effort to procrastinate on a paper on The Crucible that I have to do when SHIT! OW! TYRA'S WEAVE ON ROLLER SKATES! IT FEELS LIKE SOMEONE JUST STABBED ME IN THE SIDE WITH A BLUNT OBJECT!

I'll spare you the gory details of my ailment and how my mom had to rush me to the ER (which I guess is what I guess for being so obsessed with watching that lately) and how I had to get all hooked up to an IV and everything. Fear not, I'm ok. I'm not dying and thank God I didn't have to have any surgery. But as I was drifting in and out of consciousness, I had the memory of my blog to help me through.

Alright, no, no I didn't. But I did decide I let another night go by, my poor little corner of the internet neglected in favor of a higher purpose.

Hits

Kamikaze Girls

A million huge 'thank yous' to Missbehave for alerting me to its supreme wonderfulness. This movie was like Marie Antoinette without the vacant feeling of 'ok, this is pretty but where does the story start?'. A huge entry about this to follow when I can get my hands on it again. And Momoko, alongside Phyllis Neffler, Cher Horowitz, Romy and Michele, has become one of my heroes.

! Lace, Ribbons, Pale Pink; it's the Kamikaze Girls affect, trust me.
! Zombies (as always)
! ER (which is my excuse for not paying more attention to blogging as I've been obsessively renting the seasons for a few weeks now)
! Anatomically Correct Bone Socks + Saddle Shoes = Match made in style heaven? Oh I think so.
! Proudly wearing heels to school and gritting my teeth at every glare and snicker that the exquisitely outfitted Addidas flip flop and sweat sock girls shoot at me. I <3 you guys too!
! Trying to decide what I'm going to be for Halloween. Dead Edie Sedgwick (too predictable?) or Female Captain Spaulding? More importantly, trying to decide why I'm worrying about a costume when I have nowhere to go and nothing to do on Halloween.
! Black Boots. I have three pairs of black boots (UO Suede Slouch Boots, Motorcycle-ish Boots, and thrifted Etienne Aigner boots) but somehow I still crave more. So far I've narrowed it down to two choices;
vs.
Michael Antonio Geiger Mid-Calf Black Boots vs. Legend Reva Knee-High Boots. Ah, my horrible decision making skills should definitely come in handy now.
! Gossip Girl: Oh Gossip Girl, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I love thee to the depth of every piece of drama and every Chanel coat....

As a rule, I generally have hated whatever hip teen drama is in season, but Gossip Girl is different, somehow.

Blair Waldorf, you are the sunshine of my life. Seriously, how cute is Leighton Meester? Much better than the firecrotch that is Mischa Barton.

! Degrassi of the Dead. Zombies + Degrassi? How positively cuckoo bananas.

Miss
! Finding a gorgoues pair of gold heels for $5 only to realize that they are in fact a size too small. Sigh.
! Sienna and Savannah Miller on the cover of Nylon. I may be learning to embrace Edie Sedgwick, but that does not mean I'll be embracing the Miller sisters any time this millenium. They are both regular bores (see how I was nice and decided to replace the 'wh' with a 'b'?). The lovely Kristen Stewart was featured in this issue, why couldn't they put her on the cover?
! Ebony's Departure off of ANTM: My thoughts on Ebony walking off the show? HATE! GOOD RIDDANCE! BRING BACK LIZAAAAAA! Whoops, I mean Janet. Really though, why didn't Tyra go all TyZilla on Ebony like she did on Tiffany? I wanted to see blood! I wanted to see chunks of Ebony's weave ripped out! I expected more from you, Tyra. HOW DARE YOU! I HAVE NEVER IN MY LIFE E-YELLED AT A WOMAN LIKE THIS. LEARN SOMETHING FROM THIS. TAKE THIS EXPERIENCE AND GROW FROM IT! NEXT TIME WHEN ONE OF THE GUINEA PIGS ANNOUNCES THAT SHE'S LEAVING THE SHOW, I BETTER SEE A TYRANT ASAP.

Covered With Model Tear Droplets

2007-10-10T21:00:00.000-04:00

Am I the only one who thinks this Supreme model looks like Otis from HOTC?

Oh who am I kidding? Most of the Supreme girls look like the actual corpses from the movie.

Anywinehouse, moving on to....

ANTM Thoughts of the Week-May Contain Spoilers!

-Makeover day!!! My favorite episode of the entire season. Nothing I love better than watching girls crumble. But alas, there were many happy girls this season. What the hell? I wanted to see some TEARS, Tyra! Ugh.

-I am glad times infinity that they didn't wreck Heather. I was worried all week about her makeover; I pictured Tyra sitting in her bed, wrapped up in sheets of Egyptian cotton, eating a bucket of KFC (extra crispy), and screening House of 1000 Corpses. A stroke of genius hits her like a bolt of lightning and she shoots up out of bed with a smile (and a drumstick in hand), "Eureka! Now I know what fierceness I shall bestow upon Heather!"

So glad that didn't come to pass.

-Ebony after she got the wig taken out and her hair was all super-gluey and askew? I let out the biggest guffaw, it was unbelievable. It was just like this;

-Miss Jay humming Mockingbird Don't Sing? Do I hear an add on to Fashion Madhouse? As Miss Jay preys upon her helpless victims, she eerily hums Mockingbird Don't Sing with a perverse grin as she stabs Twiglet in her jugular with said Christian Louboutin.

-A big 'WTF' at Saleish's bowl cut. I had that haircut when I was five and my mom used to cut my hair with the big metal handled scissors. Sorry mom, I love you but that hair was NOT FIERCE. And neither is this, but at least Saleish rocks it.

-Sarah looks like a snail or some other strange little scrunchy faced creature.

-Top Model + Cha Cha Diva + mention of Lifetime=LOVE!

-Chantal-I'm going to go Elyse from Cycle 1 and simply say; shut up.

-"No more high heels, no more wearing makeup on my face, no more people fixing me hair..." It's just a hard knock life, isn't it Victoria?

-Alright, we're going to take a trip down my memory lane for a sec. In the second grade, one fateful Halloween, after returning from Trick-Or-Treating and waiting for my parents to approve my candy (you know, to make sure no psychos put razorblades in it or anything) I wanted to be all tough and watch just ONE scary movie on TV. So, I mosied on into the living room in my Renaissance Princess costume and turned off the lights, ready to face the scariest movie I would ever see(and indeed it turned out to be). All I remember of this movie was that it involved a guy named Charlie, and these extremely terrifying vampires and I think at one point some guy held up a cross to protect himself but he didn't 'believe' in it so he got keeled(A/N-if anyone knows what I'm talking about I would appreciate a heads up because I've been trying to find this movie for years). One vampire, after he had been turned, popped out and he had this red, stringy, yarn-y hair and big fangs and glowing eyes and I was scarred for life against vampire movies. That, my dear friends, is the floodgate that opened when Heather came out in her Weed makeup today.

ANTM Sneak Peek (Even Though The Episode is 10 Minutes Away)

2007-10-10T19:47:00.000-04:00

Tyra gives the girls a sneak peak at their makeovers at a Beverly Hills salon. Most of the models get dramatic makeovers, but one is driven to the breaking point when she has to cut off all her hair. Later, the girls participate in a runway challenge and "pose-off" in a jungle photo shoot.

See that in the bold? This is what I like to hear. The wails and whines of unsuspecting ~~guinea pigs~~ models at the thought of getting their precious hair cut off. This is classic ANTM.

Knock You Out

2007-10-05T20:02:00.001-04:00

[Enter:Gerard Way ironically wearing a Miss Gaping Vag t-shirt and Frank Iero looking generally adorable and for that Dilemma has nothing bad to say about him ever.]

"I walked off the bus in my makeup and costume

and this dude across the street in front of a crackhouse just goes:

'better stay on that side of the street motherfucker,

I'll knock you out!'"

And then we all laugh and laugh and laugh because come on, that was a fantastic story!

But ain't nobody laughing anymore.

Oh no.

Imagine, for a second, that I am the said crazed (possible) crack addict on one side of the street, and that Nylon Magazine is Gerard Way cowering on the other. I know what you're thinking, "What the hale is this crazy bitch going on about now? Is this yet ANOTHER Cory Kennedy post? When is she going to come up with new material and realize that calling CKL a spitsicle ISN'T FUNNY?"

Mmmhmm. Where oh where have we seen this before? Oh yeah. I remember now!

Damn you Nylon, damn you for bastardizing and hipsterizing Troop Beverly Hills, Tori Spelling, and woe, my dearly beloved Kellie Martin! You don't know about Kellie Martin. I do! You're glib, Nylon, really GLIB OK. Do you even know who Kellie Martin is? You have no right to take this from me! These are MY Lifetime movie actresses, these are MY jodhpurs, THIS IS MY MOVIE HOW DARE YOU SANDWICH IT BETWEEN A SEVEN JEANS ADVERTISEMENT AND AN ADVERT FOR CAMEL NO.9s YOU HEARTLESS HIPSTER MONGERS. NOBODY MESSES WITH DILEMMA KNOWS FASHION. So let this be a lesson to you, Nylon; you better stay on that West side of the US, motherfuckers, or I will knock you out. (And thank you, Toby Isaacs, Gerard Way, hobos in front of crackhouses, and Crazy Tom Cruise for putting my feelings into words better than I ever could.)

Alright. No more grammatically incorrect caps(although I do love me some capslock).

My biggest gripe with Nylon, however, is not the fact that they stole my idea (*cough*). The big problem I have is that they chose such heinous pieces to represent Troop Beverly Hills and Phyllis Neffler style! In case you missed it, Phyllis wore insane poofy 80's dresses, ridiculous shoulder pads, and metallic bathrobes; just some awesome, awesome stuff like that. So why the gloomy navy blue sweater? The frumpy gray skirt? The random canteen? Yes, these things make sense, but come on. This is no representation of the Phyllis Neffler we know and love.

Phyllis was never, ever seen without a few million glittery baubles on her fingers. Her love of jewelry even inspired her to create a 'Jewelry Appraisal' patch. This ring fits the bill, being over sized and a bit gaudy (hey, it was the 80s). Zebra Gem Ring $24 but I know you can find something like it at Target or Goodwill for half the price. Or try rooting around in your grandmother or mother's jewelry box; this method has always worked for me in a pinch.

Cloches, wide brimmed, and little pillbox hats were all staples for Phyllis. Of course, the pillbox is and will always be my favorite style hat.Pillbox Hat $45

Over-packers unite and oogle the Louis Vuitton luggage collection Phyllis has going on there. I know, everyone kind of resents Louis Vuitton logomania (and with good reason) but it is just a little bit impressive.
Louis Vuitton Catalog

Another staple, her white floor length mink coat. I don't endorse wearing little minks, but I do endorse wearing synthetics that just look like them. White Faux-Mink Coat $245

Need I say more? These shoes lead me to believe that there is a God(or at least Imelda Marcos, the shoe god). They're $150 and from Urban Outfitters (who is notorious for selling the most uncomfortable of footwear) so that's two strikes against them. They're fabulous regardless, and they encompass all that is the true Phyllis spirit.

Grab yourself a pair of Ray Bans (or the fakes if you don't have enough dough), some shiny leggings, and some of those delicious Girl Scout cookies (so that, you know, you can look like a stuffed sausage in said leggings) and get camping! Better yet, just veg out in front of the TV with Troop Beverly Hills; it deserves your undivided attention more than I or any cold-hearted hipsters could put into words.

Disclaimer-Just don't take this too seriously folks.

Scarier Than Jason Himself

2007-10-03T17:00:00.000-04:00

Speaking of our fierce girl Schatar...

There she is in all her classy, haute couture glory. Stay fierce bb!

Anyway, you know that Scanners song, Lowlife? Where they sing 'this is a low, this is a lonely time' and then CKL and Steve Aoki pop up in a Michael's and start dancing around with lawn gnomes? Oh wait, that last part is from Bombs. Nevermind.

The point is that this is a lonely time. Britney lost custody of her kids (RIP FIERCE BRITNEY WE MISS YOU), Agy Deyn-beloved hipster and model-has gone brunette, someone is remaking Friday the 13th, and worst of all, there is nothing to talk about style related.

NOTHING.

I could make another runway clothes post, but you know what? I don't want to. You know what the runway looks like, you know how to type Style.com into your address bar, you know that sheer pants are making a much needed comeback-wait, what?

Ladies and gentlemen, I couldn't make this up. And even if I could, I wouldn't be so cruel as to make a joke about sheer pants.

BAM KARL LAGERFELD!

BAM TSUMORI CHISATO!

Plus many, many more but I'm too tired to go through all the collections and see. Like I said before, you have fingers (or I'm assuming you do since you're reading this page and therefore able to operate a computer), you can search Style.com for yourself! Although if I were you, I wouldn't want to see anymore of this horror show. I know I made that whole proactive 'wear what you want-be your own person!' rant a while back but come on; there are certain boundaries that should just not be crossed.

Jeepers Creepers

2007-09-26T18:41:00.000-04:00

Worried about procuring the perfect costume for Halloween? Fear not! Since Halloween doth approach-ith, and I spaced today in the middle of my Biology class. About when my teacher was explaining the difference between cohesion and adhesion I thought of a brilliant costume idea for the fashion model obsessives I know you are.

Masha Tylena! You know her, you love her, you fear her. SHE IS MASHA AND SHE WILL BEATNGU.

What You'll Need:

1. Some really expensive haute couture dresses. Or just do as Schatar from Flavor of Love does and snag something expensive looking from Forever 21 and tell everyone it's one of your very precious couture pieces.

2. A pair of googly eyes like so-

3. A willingness to tell people to smile with their eyes AT ALL TIMES. This is key!!!! The real Masha T does not tolerate dead eyes under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES.

ANTM THOUGHTS OF THE WEEK:

-Most of all, I am LOVING the new eco-friendly Top Model house and ride. America's Next Top PSA Y'all!

-The first episode may have sucked, but this totally made up for it. Can you even believe the crazy ass photoshoot they had to do? I mean can you really BLAME Mila for bursting out laughing every five seconds in her post-chemo hairdo?

-"Bianca is a little insecure..."
-Lisa
YOU THINK? Bitch is this season's Renee, only less likeable. I don't mean to yell at you though, Lisa, because you are a doll and I adore you. Who cares if you were an exotic dancer? Certainly not this Dilemma!

-What's the BFD about Miss Heather's "spacey", "4 steps behind" personality? Half the models backstage at a show are cracked out anyway. She'll fit right in.

-Speaking of Heather...I still love her. I'm not so surprisingly empathetic with the tragic plight of being socially inept to the extreme. Except I don't have asbergers, but whatev.

-Victoria is actually not so bad. So I've revoked her 'no' status for the time being.

-When Twiggy says, "The camera loves you!" its like a reverse death wish. She says it-you stay on for the next 6 episodes whether the rest of panel loves you or not. It's just a fact. Someone needs to dress up as Twiggy for Halloween, ASAP.

Adriana Lima Bean:Kind of Like Hannelore Peanuts

2007-09-19T21:43:00.001-04:00

As soon as I typed the previous post about spring collections, the good ones started rolling in ridiculously soon after.

Betsey Johnson
IT'S LIKE SHE CAN READ MY MIND! This is, in collection form, everything I've been lusting for and sketching at (badly, mind you) in my fashion journal. Right down to the colors! Big poofy party dresses in soft pinks, purples, blues, and hints of gold? This is too much for my weak heart to handle. I'm only showing two of my favorite outfits because if I attempted to talk about all of them we'd be here till Shrove Tuesday. True fact.

My dream dress, in my favorite shade of pink. It's very Living Dolls; Swan Brooner would approve. Was that a horrible, totally not PC comparison or what? Love the glittery socks and heels. Much better than the Addidas flip flops and sweat socks to which I've recently become accustomed. This dress represents everything I'm about right now; girly, frilly, over the top, and ridiculously out of place in this dull dull world. Woe is me.

Purple and gold! One of my favorite color combinations. Ok I lied, I just like anything with gold. I love the halter neck tie (it especially works for moi because oddly enough my shoulders/arms and I are on very good speaking terms) and the gold petticoat peeking out underneath!

Marc Jacobs

The collection was batshit, I know. But come on it wasn't THAT bad. Everyone is pitching a bitch about these shoes but let it be known from the Halls of Montezuma to the Shores of Tripoli, that yes I ADORE THESE. Yeah, they'd be killer to walk in but walking is so overrated. Do as the brats on My Super Sweet Sixteen do and have a chauffeur (or generous parent) drive you everywhere and only walk in them for as long as you can take the searing hot pain. The masochists wearing these will surely have no qualms, so hats off to you.

Anna Sui

Made me want to seriously dye my hair crazy colors. I actually might when it grows out. When I was a little girl I wanted red tips in the WORST WAY IMAGINABLE and forced my mom to buy me those ponytail holders with red fake hair attached (remember those?) from Claires. I loved every single piece, so it would be too time consuming and redundant just to write 'I love this because xxxx' over and over again. However, I must mention this...

It figures that Irina would be living out my childhood hair fantasy. And holy shoulder pads Batman!

Honorable Mention: Monique Lhuillier, Marc by Marc, Bill Blass, Tracy Reese, and Peter Som

Now onto more important things:FIRST ANTM EPISODE OF THE SEASON.
Bored? Excited? Disappointed?

I've been waiting for this since the last season ended. It has been my single motivation to get through this horrible week, and I am unhappy to report I was not impressed. Here are some notes I made (shut up) while watching transcribed directly from my notes...

Victoria-NO. GTFO.
Tyra as a showgirl=GOLD. That alone makes my life worth living.
Sabrina-HOW RUDE! "I see now that she's sick it's time for me to shine." Oh...well...that's nice? Why do these girls have to be so damn mean? Will kind of miss because she could have been a nice shit stirrer.
Christie-You remind people of Adriana Lima? No no, I think you really did mean Adriana Lima Bean.
Heather-LOVE HER. End of story.
Victoria-NO.
Girls who don't want it and only try out as a "joke" should not be there. Yeah, we all know that ANTM is kind of a joke, but some girls actually WANT TO BE TYRA'S NEXT TOP MODEL. STOP RUINING THEIR CHANCES YOU UNGRATEFUL BITCHES.
Jenah-I see you hanging out with guys playing beer pong and reading those extremely hard Amelia Bedelia books. You are a threat in your own mind baby.

Invading Your Mind One Phone Call At a Time

2007-09-13T17:06:00.000-04:00

Picture it, Dilemma's house, September 13 2007. Fed up by annoying yet sometimes ruthless telemarketers, Dilemma decides to have some fun with an unsuspecting male telemarketer working for Earthlink.

Telemarketer:Hello, I am from Earthlink and you've just won a BAZILLION DOLLARS PLUS AN EARTHLINK CONTRACT! Blah blah blah blah blahblah-
Dilemma: Wait wait wait wait a second, I have a question for you.
Telemarketer:Yes?
Dilemma: Do you know who Cory Kennedy is?
*hangs up*

So internet, do you know who Cory Kennedy is?

2007-09-08T22:28:00.000-04:00

It's official, New York fashion week is b o r i n g. There may have been one or two collections that I liked but I can't remember which ones because they were so uninspiring. I'll be eagerly anticipating the Paris and Milan shows.

Here are two outfits that I find inspiring.

I've been especially hard on CKL these past few posts, so today I decided to play nice. Everyone hates the clear bags except me, so I was glad to see that I'm not the only one on the face of the earth who doesn't cry out a resounding 'FUGLY' at the thought of toting one. I have all kinds of weird stuff like cupcake shaped notepads that I want the world to be able to see. See now? I can be nice to The Cory. I'm just not blithely uninhibited with the fact that she has done nothing to deserve fame like I blatantly used to be. (PS:The girl next to her in the overalls is her sister Chris Kennedy. Don't ask me why or how I know this, my head is filled with useless information.)

A few minutes ago, I was looking at the Behnaz Sarafpour Backstage shots when I came across these photos.

"WOW. That is the most heavenly dress in my FAVORITE SHADE OF PINK and those are nicest brogues ever."

I wonder whose outfit this is...

Oh hay Iekeliene."

I should've known my favorite model and one of my favorite fashion inspirations would be wearing something so incredibly wonderful. I've been looking for a floaty dress with an accordion pleat or maybe just a nice skirt, and this dress (as much as I loathe this word) I COVET. Oh Iekeliene, I will defend you until the day I cease to exist. In layman's (and Ty Ty's) terms; homegirl Iek knows how to pick out a fierce dress.

And the not so inspiring...

Hey, who let Coco Rocha disguised as Eliza Doolittle pre-fab into the Thakoon show and threw the poor woman straight onto the runway?

Continuing on in the ongoing yellow brick quest for a waist, Costella Tagliapietra seems to have gotten sidetracked along the way by all the shiny things in Emerald City and the old set of rollers found in the eldest member of the Lollipop Guilds' tiny cottage. Somewhere in Oz, sitting on a throne crafted solely out of Manolo Blahniks, Anna Wintour cackles malevolently at her triumph.

Wanna Be Like Tom Cruise?

2007-09-05T19:27:00.002-04:00

"Wanna Be Like Tom Cruise? Join the Key Club!" Someone actually made posters like that to advertise Key Club. Needless to say I will not be joining, in hopes that I can cling to the shreds of sanity I've managed to maintain these past few weeks.

Dilemma's Tip For Back To School/Gruel/Cool/Things that rhyme pathetically with 'ool'

-Please for the love of GOD, IF YOU MUST TALK TO SOMEONE IN BETWEEN CLASSES DO NOT JUST COME TO A SCREECHING HALT RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HALLWAY. I know that whatever you're doing is so much more important than me making it to class on time. It's an integral part of keeping the Earth rotating on its axis to have to report the news of the latest scandal to your bffs Muffy and Buffy right then and there in the middle of the hallway about how Stacy cheated on star of the football team with her new lesbian lover Bertha. Yes that Bertha with the shaved hairline and the nipple rings EW WAIT LESBIANS ARE SO GROSS!! GAY PEOPLE ARE SO GAY, MAN. (A/N:Actual excerpt of something I overheard today. True facts.)

-Making fun of people without meaning any harm by it is funny (i.e-my firecrotch jokes, Blondie jokes, etc and so forth). I and many of the wonderful people on my blogroll do it, and not because we're so "jealous" of whoever we might be poking fun at. Making fun of people in a serious fashion that actually hurts people's feelings makes me want to VOMIT. I might have to get Tyra to slap a hoe, or mainly just the guys who think that making fun of the "fat girls" or the "nerdy guys" actually makes for good laughs. (Note to you, you assholes-You're not John Bender, nor do you have any room to talk.) DID TYRA'S TYRADE TEACH YOU NOTHING?

-Rain stuff. Wear it walking home from school (in the rain obviously) while listening to 'Only Happy When It Rains' by Garbage. Or I guess you could listen to some mopey Eisley, it's your call. (A/N:I actually like Eisley.)

Do I even need to explain? The reviews say they're not actually very rain resistant, but is a cupcake rainboot from Target really supposed to tops in practicality? I didn't think so. Nothing could make me happier than seeing cupcake patterned footwear...says the girl who's sipping out of a mug fashioned like Hello Kitty's face right now. Cutesy weird things work for me, ok? $19.99

Let's face it, you may be a little worried about causing all kinds of shenanigans while wearing cupcakes on your shoes. There's hope-fear not!-you can have houndstooth rainboots instead. Houndstooth is one of my many pattern loves. I can't wait for fall so I can wear my knee length houndstooth coat. $19.99

Kid's umbrella's! I love these, I need an umbrella (kind of like I need a new fancy dress, need those lego-tastic Balenciaga shoes, need more kooky tights, etc) and they're on sale.

-Seeing people in unexpected places. Cory Kennedy in Jalouse threw me for a loop.

TELL ME ABOUT YOUR WEEK. Or your day.

Attack of the Fungus People

2007-08-30T21:00:00.000-04:00

My two beady little eyes have seen a lot of wacky stuff go down, but this week they saw the seventh layer of HELL. The seventh layer is Gerard Way's sock drawer (there's bound to be something evil afoot around there), and the eighth is wherever Cruggs are manufactured. This is a simple hit or miss list, no pretty pictures or long descriptions unless I feel like it. Someone please save me from this fiery pit of certain death that is my new school (A/N-I think some people thought that when I wrote I was being online schooled that this meant that I had been homeschooled all my life which is completely untrue. It was only for the last half of the semester last school year. Ah, the perks of moving all the time!). Sadly, not even watching Blondie sing Umbrella can save me now.

Hit

Fred Flare Roller Skates - I used to have a pair just like this only the wheels were hot-Barbie-pink. Somehow they got thrown out, but now I really wish I had them because if I do say so myself, I am a pretty mean skater(on roller and ice).

Acid Wash denim - This freshmen girl in my American Cultures class wore a pair today that were more on the straight-legged/bootcut side with some Nike Dunks. They didn't make her look like an ice cream cone, and she didn't look like a hipster gone bad. Oooh, I think that's what I'll call my new personal style. Hipster Gone Bad rivals the best personal style name of all time, Ghetto Project Fabulous (check under March 15th-Best Decision).

The Rage - These shoes. Buy them. They'll run you about $120-$160 but you can't get things that look like this in most places. I adore the Real French pair, especially now since one of the only things with potential to be awesome at my school is French class. You can get them in three heel heights flat, medium, and high (for those who have to walk up and down three flights of stairs every day like me, I would probably recommend flat). These would make a great back to school gift for a girl who has just started a brand new school, has had to leave her all friends behind, and been thrown into a sea of clone-tard losers (this is a oh so subtle hint for my mother who may or may not be reading this).

Chiller-the horror/thriller channel-Since I get DirectTV now, I get Tales from the Crypt streamed to me via satellite every night at promptly 6 o'clock. So much bad acting and hilarious plot lines, so little time. There's also this really random show of "chilling" horror tales called Freddy's Nightmares in which our very own Freddy Krueger hosts. Now that's what I call entertainment!

Miss

Fake Chanel Earrings - There are about 43532653252352 pairs of these at my school. I saw at least ten on my first day. In addition to fugly D&G bags being worn with Crocs and bad Abercrombie and Aeropostale, which in all honestly I didn't know people still shopped at. I'm not even being sarcastic or bitchy, but I thought that place became null and void after 8th grade.

Tans - Come on pale sisters, let's stand together against the permatanned! I'm not even that pale I'm just so SICK of seeing orange bitches all over the place.

This outfit - White tank under Abercrombie polo or other generic looking shirt with a low neckline, plus some jeans and flip-flops. This is what all of the girls in my new school wear, save for the Against All Odds devotees donning Baby Phat and large hoop earrings which is not so bad. Ok, so there are about 3 "scene" girls thrown randomly into the melting pot of girls (which is more like a bowl of cold chick broth). At least I have you guys (or those of you reading that have blogs) to keep me entertained and well aware that yes, people out there are sane and don't feel the need to dress like each other in order to function.

CROC WATCH EXTENDED

2007-08-27T15:26:00.001-04:00

CROCS CROSSBRED WITH UGGS. WHY GOD, WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME?

This is the worst day ever(post soon to follow).

The Cobra Crew Does Crocs

2007-08-25T00:10:00.000-04:00

I bet you thought the title was a practical joke. Or a jab at the lovely spitsicle that is my favorite Miss Kennedy. Alas, take a gander;

Wamp wamp waaaaaah.

We here at DKF headquarters are officially on 24 hour Croc Watch. Beware, fellow reader. BEWARE.

Insert Title Here

2007-08-18T20:47:00.001-04:00

Hit
Target flats

After massacring my feet all day in leopard print flats, I put these on to go move boxes and they are deliciously comfortable. They're also 10x prettier in person than in this picture, I mentally compared them to French Sole ballet flats. And in black flats, you can do no wrong!

Hit
Jewelry Shopping

I used to think expensive jewelry was kind of pointless, though I vowed that my first expensive purchase is going to be a pendant with a small silver diamond encrusted circle (like this). That is, until I walked into Sanrio where there was a whole display full of Tarina Tarantino pieces and the extremely nice sales girl proceeded to take necklaces, bracelets, rings, and even some head bands out one at a time for me to try on at my leisure(and with her assistance-no more struggling with those pesky little clasps when you've got a Sales Associate vying for your business!) as she told me the fine details about each piece (and encouraged me to try on more). I don't know who thought that this would make a good practice, but they definitely have my approval. Jewelry shopping is boss.

Hit
House of 1000 Corpses
A ton of people at IMDB hated this, but I was pleasantly surprised. I really, truly hate "torture porn" flicks like Hostel, and thankfully this was nothing like that. It wasn't as gory as I had expected (but really nothing can be considered gory if you've sat through the opening scene of Mr.Jingles). I found it more entertaining than actually scary...well about as entertaining as satanic rituals and dead cheerleaders can get. And I'm sorry, but Captain Spaulding is what I call good people! (Note: Does not apply to the sequel, The Devil's Rejects)

Miss
Dead Silence
Probably everyone is going to skip over the horror movie parts, but sometimes a girl needs to divulge her thoughts on these things! This movie was a yawn. I have a huge phobia of creepy dolls (namely dummies-blame it on Goosebumps) and the only time I even jumped at this was when the opening credits were going and my cat jumped up on my chair from behind me. It probably didn't help that 5 minutes in when I got bored, I started talking back to the screen in Tyranese. "Girl that ain't fierce! You gotta smile wit cho eyes! Oooh chiiiild...you gone and done it now...that dummy gonna murder you!" Yes, I said that. But can you blame me?

Hit

Uhm, yeah. This is a typewriter-turned-waffle iron that makes keyboard shaped waffles. I am in awe.

Miss
Paris Hilton's clothing line at Kitson

A shirt with Paris' badly drawn face on it? What next, underwear with Lindsay Lohan's face right over the cooter? Whatev.

Luv Thyself? Are you serious? What is abbrevated on the internet, STAYS ON THE INTERNET.

The stuff in the line looks cheap, and kind of bland. I could go to F21 to get the same stuff. I tried to keep an open mind, but this "collection" blows. Sorry P, I know you get enough blow as it is.

Hit
Locher's shirts

Looks like a plain tank top, right? Upon further inspection, we see the true nature of the shirt. The front strap says "good luck", and the thought finishes on the back strap with "motherfucker". Ah, these shirts are my kind of cute. The "good luck, motherfucker" shirt is one of my personal favorites. Written in such dainty script, questionable slogans like, "I love porn", "Will Fuck For Shoes", "I really need a fucking coffee", are written in such dainty script, no teacher or supposedly higher being could possibly find it offensive.

Hmm, I feel like there should be more Misses; people may feel compelled to make "hit list" jokes...

Just A Thought

2007-08-10T22:26:00.000-04:00

How fabulous is the makeup guy Karl on A Model's Life? Too fabulous.
He gives Jay Manuel a run for his money as Power Gay of the modeling show world. On second thought, that's hardly true; Jay will always be the gayest man to ever give Ty Ty's bunch of aspiring models a makeup lesson. Plus, the girls on A Model's Life reek less of sock puppet.

Oh! And Lucia, the girl from Slovakia, is so sweet and her accent makes me 'awww'.

That is all.

PS:Why did they make up Michelle like Ryan Ross? Now there's a real Power Gay for you.

"Never Fear Being Vulgar, Only Boring." -Diana Vreeland

2007-08-09T10:44:00.000-04:00

Clockwise-Betsey Johnson-over the top fashion visionary. World's Most Drama Inducing Pants-pants that stirred up a plethora of e-drama over at my once favorite community Black Cigarette. Are they garish or incredibly stylish? Iekeliene Stange-my favorite Dutch model that always brings out the whiny LJ model fans' worst sides Silver AA Tube Dress-touted as the absolute devil by many fashion bloggers and AA regulars.

Many a time I've gone into my closet to pick out something to wear for the day ahead of me and come up with something that I feel invincible wearing. Then two seconds later it's discarded on the floor.

"Too many colors!"

"People might think I'm weird!"

"Heels make me tower over everyone...maybe next time."

Lately, it feels like I've been dressing more for other people than myself. Everywhere I go, even on the internet, I'm constantly confronted with what I call 'old lady' attitudes about clothes. When did us young people get so stingy? Aren't we supposed to be dreaming up new concepts and trying new shapes? People are scoffing at others for wearing outlandish designs and fabrics, some are putting down my first true fashion love[and others like her], Betsey Johnson for being to 'wild' and 'unstylish'. And you know what? I'm sick of it! Sick of letting boring people dictate what I wear. I'm putting my foot down at people who feel the need to make me feel small because I'm not wearing jeans and a t-shirt all the damn time. Little girls carrying Vera Bradley bags and clutching to their UGGS for dear life will no longer affect my stylistic descisions! As long as it fits well, flatters your shape, and covers your cooter and the girls[same goes for men...just with different terminology of course] what's wrong with wearing neon green tights and glittery black pumps with a white t-shirt dress or something? In fact, I recommend wearing glittery pumps[or flats for that matter]-maybe people wouldn't be so depressed all the time if they had fun with the way they dressed!

It's a well documented fact that I'm no saint; I know have acted like someone's granny in regards to something I found too loud or ugly. Example #1-leggings! Leggings were to be despised with trenchant force. Only recently have I come to accept and gasp-like them! Not the knee-length ones or most of the capri-length kind because those still and forevermore will always be unflattering on most legs. We are programmed now to thing that all leggings=bad, which pure and utter BULLOCKS.

Look at those lovely flares in the top right hand corner of my ~~terribly thrown together~~ collage. What do you think of those babies? Most people had a huge bitch fit over their alleged "hideous"-ness. I think they are indeed to die for. Someone commented saying that we're programed to think that flares=bad and that sounds spot on to me. Since skinnies have taken over by force, we begrudgingly accept wide legged pants but NEVER flares. Saying 'I don't like such and such because I know they wouldn't flatter me and I personally think they look icky!' is different from 'ugh such and such is so gross I can't believe people who claim to have style actually wear it'. Why must we cause [internet] controversy and bruised egos uneccessarily over a pair of pants because shock! horror! they are a little out of the norm than what we're used to?

My next point: the AA silver lame tube dress. I have seen it dogged on many blogs and fashion websites alike so PLEASE do not get on my case and think I'm personally targeting you for not liking it. If it wasn't such terrible quality[the reviews say it's thin, it cracks easily, and that you should wear thongs or no undewear at all underneath and I am NOT about to start shoving my cooter in people's unsuspecting faces now!] I feel it's a misunderstood piece of clothing. Sitting there, all by it's lonesome with a model who looks like she's about to barf up her Sushi[the hiptser choice of food]. Obviously I would not squeeze myself into it and run around in it flapping like a chicken, cooter and boobs flopping around for all the world to see! I would wear it [assuming I had the perfect body] under a large white t-shirt, with some clear lucite bangers, possibly some silver chains, and navy round toe pumps[for some reason I think navy would really go]. When I was watching Betsey Johnson's Intimate Portrait on Lifetime, hearing her say things like she wasn't willing to compromise her aesthetic to please others, and that she knew the type of woman she wanted to wear her clothes, it gave me hope that maybe my I'm not so far off afterall!

Minimalisim is wonderful, but it's not for me. I fear it never will be! Till my dying day, I'm going to be the old lady in the retirement home covered in bright colors, sequins, and lame. Maybe I'll find myself a nice lame rain bonnet or something, so that when I'm hobbling down the street in the rain with my walker, some aspiring fashion designer will get wind of it and decide to stage it's comeback!

I'm a very quiet person in "real" life, and I always have trouble starting/holding conversations and I for the love of all that is good and holy in this world have the biggest problem expressing myself through speech. So it kind of feels like I take the pent up wacky and weird personality that is inside of me and express it in "ugly", "tacky" clothes. Do other people do that? Am I alone here? Yes, no, maybe? At the end of the day, I guess I'll just have to get used to the questioning looks [afterall, there is no such thing as bad publicity...or so says Massie Block. Some should pry the Clique books out of my eager grasp and take them away from me until I finish up Les Miserables which EVERYONE should read], and deal with the fact that guys who prefer girls to keep it 'simple' are not worth my time. Up here in the jolly land of Crocs-n-Khakis that I live in I'll get looked at funny anyway. It's the short hair, you know. Attracts the crazies and undesirables like moths to a flame.

Not Until We Sing Kumbaya!

2007-08-03T14:11:00.000-04:00

Yet again I have squandered away the last few days, in favor of doing more important things like...well...nothing except being lazy, really. A terrible thing happened and I had to RETURN Mommie Dearest before I got a chance to cap the whole thing, and every time I did try to cap it, it would freeze up any time I paused it. Sounds like Joan Crawford's ghost is bitter about me calling her a firecrotch.

ANYWAY, Joan Crawford aside, there is one woman who goes above and beyond a hero for me; beyond Kathy Griffin, beyond Saaphyri, beyond anyone who I have ever mentioned on this blog.

That woman would be Phyllis Neffler.

I have been meaning to write up about Troop Beverly Hills for about 10 posts now since it's practically the movie that gave me my first look at fashion back in the day when I was wearing leggings and over sized sweatshirts, and was the proud owner of the best scrunchie collection of all time[shut up, I was SEVEN]. Even though I continued on wearing said leggings and scrunchies, it must have left some imprint in my mind, because now this movie defines what I would like to be aesthetically speaking. It's got all the bases covered; amazing star-studded cast with my girls Tori Spelling and Kellie Martin[aka two of favorite lifetime movie actress ever] PLUS a young Jenny Lewis, outrageous clothes, and tongue-in-cheek humor. What more could you want from a movie? There are so many wonderful scenes in this movie, it was hard to pick and choose what to post. And so it begins!

Troop Beverly Hills: A Movie Dissected in Pictures

We open up on a scene at the Wilderness Girls' Headquarters, one which involves my favorite socialite/celebutante of all time-Tori Spelling. Tori Spelling was the original, less skanky Paris Hilton. Has Hilton ever produced a masterpiece like Death of A Cheerleader/A Friend to Die For? I don't think so!

How eighties are those sleeves? I already love this post so much it's sickening. This movie is a visual orgasm[totally stole that from that dude on ANTM Cycle 2] for those who are in love with hats like I am.

"*points*This one...and this one...out. I'll take the rest!"

My dream house, in my absolute favorite color no less! Oy, this fictional character is living my life.

Troop Beverly Hills: Influencing Future Shopaholics Everywhere Since 1989.

"I started a whole new meaningful life today, and I bought a whole new meaningful wardrobe to go with it!" I'm quoting that from memory, so it may be a little off.

Phyllis Neffler will NOT be moved!

JLew!!!! She was fabulous even back then.

Then we come to the first troop meeting where all the other girls are introduced. But first...

"Is the caviar too much?"
This is my favorite outfit in the entire movie. I sincerely wish people dressed like this on a day to day basis! I mean look at it-

As my beloved Ty Ty would say[with a little shake of the index finger], this outfit/dress contraption is fiiii-uhce! And Phyllis "makes it fashion", because as you can see she is totally smiling with her eyes right now.

I would like to take this time to note that there was a brilliant reference to Imelda/Ferdinand Marcos later on in the movie. All I have to say is that they know how to rock the Ray Bans.

It's Kellie Martin! Words cannot express the pure love I feel for this girl. In Beverly Hills she plays not a battered wife-gone-crazy OR a psychopathic yet heart wrenching Cheerleader killer, but the sad role of a girl whose father is a struggling actor, barely able to afford the $7.50 it costs to get patches.

Table 1:

1. In the back, we have Chica something or another, I'm too lazy to IMDB the name-this girl's parents are insensitive imbeciles. 2. Then of course there's our wonderful JLew! 3. Next we have Tiffany...or if that isn't her name it SHOULD be Tiffany-love her, she's the early form of a Cobrasnake-hipster only without the gross! 4. Then there is girl in the red shirt whose name I am completely unaware of, but I absolutely LOVED her in this. She has spunk and she dresses up as Tina Turner in order to sell cookies.

Table 2:

1.Girl in the very back is the dictators' daughter also rocking the Ray Bans. 2.Claire in the leopard print is the daughter of a trashy romance novelist who's BFFs with Phyllis, star of her own TV show, and just "wants to be a normal kid". 3. Kellie Martin! 4. And last but not least, money-grabbing redheaded girl in the denim whose name I forget AGAIN but she is owning that denim+pearl necklace combo and she drove a hard bargain, therefore I love her. Actually, I think her name might be Tiffany.

Uniform shopping! Plus, a cameo from the woman who plays Lana on Strong Medicine.

Troop Leader's Uniform Pre-Fab:will not miss.

Love what the girl in the glasses also known as Tiffany is wearing. Plus, Claire is wearing a hot pink harem-pants jumpsuit and do you SEE the face she is making at Phyllis' uniform?

"Oh my God, what is that?!"-Man in the Suit

Troop Leader's Uniform Post-Fab!

The beginning of the end. Do you think this is where I learned to overpack?

"Alright girls, are you ready to rough it!?"

Honestly, I was ready to give up here. Ready to say that I would maybe continue this in a Part II post. But no, I pushed through. I DIDN'T GIVE UP in the true spirit of Wilderness Girls.

If you must go camping, do it in style like so. I don't consider myself overtly-girly, but this looks a lot more appealing than sleeping on dirt.

Phyllis is verbally bitchslapped by one of the best on screen villians ever, Velda Plender, as Velda's sock puppet Annie looks on in admiration.

Claire models a backpack. Alas, it's no ordinary backpack...

If you simply lift the flap...

and pop the snap...

You've got a mobile closet! "Just because you're out in the woods, it's no excuse not to look your best!"

My first taste of true on screen espionage as a child came from watching Phyllis spy on her ex-husband and his new sleazy girlfriend. It was all fun and games until she lost her balance and fell out of the tree. Sigh.

This is Phyllis giving the girls a dance lesson in something adorable. This is also me too lazy to resize the picture to match the others.

This is the troop in their painfully 80s dance outfits. AA leggings, anyone?

This is an old man reaching for an issue of Penthouse. I think this speaks for itself.

This if proof that if you're wearing something sparkly, people will buy whatever you have to sell.

This is Phyllis in a Dynasty-fab outfit, with what appears to be a glittery dove on her shoulder.

This is Phyllis being unbelievably fabulous.

This is sock-puppet-Annie transformed into a beauitful metaphorical butterfly.

This is Cheech Marin.

This is Velda Plender saying "get your damn car out of my friendship ring!"

This is Dilemma saying that if you haven't seen this movie go out and RENT IT IMMEDIATELY because I could not jampack its perfection into this one post.

Firecrotch Is My New Favorite Word

2007-07-30T03:30:00.000-04:00

Ahem. I have been on a little internet hiatus since a few days pre-Harry Potter day aka July 21 aka The Day Before My Birthday [furthermore, on said day I did a ton of sobbing. I don't want to spoil anyone but some of my favorite characters were mercilessly slaughtered which did NOT make me very happy] because I didn't want to be spoiled. I've only been on to check my email and occasionally read some gossip to keep up with this whole defunct-Lohan issue[I really feel for the poor girl, I mean having Dina Lohan as the primary female figure in your life wouldn't really give you much mental stability]. This is really pointless, but I just wanted to say that no, I have not turned into Lohan, subsequently drinking myself into a comatose state thus, causing me to be hauled off in a police car for driving my parents million dollar, diamond encrusted Hummer into a KFC.

Speaking of drunken stupors, my next few posts are going to be about my favorite movies and the clothes in said favorite movies. This will include the likes of Mommie Dearest which is the heartwarming mother-daughter tale of that crazy ass booze-fiend Joan Crawford. Love that movie and that crazy firecrotch!

Is it weird that every time I see someone [usually a celebrity] that I find hilarious* I immediately think, "oh there's that firecrotch" in a most serious fashion?

There is really no need for you to comment on this insomnia induced rambling about firecrotches and Lindsay Lohan. I'm sure half of these words are spelled wrong and that my grammar is all messed up. But it's almost four o'clock in the morning, so who even cares?

A parting thought: I heard on some E! program or another that Dina threatened this guy by using her connections to the mob to scare him from printing bad stuff about her. BEAT AT YOUR OWN GAME, LOHAN. I too have mob connections via my mother via her uncle that she never met so technically we really have no mob connections, thus no reason for anyone reading this to feel the need to come and hunt me or my mom down. If anyone feels the need to physically accost me about my secret mob connections, I'll beat you down with some wire hangers Mommie Dearest style.

Peace, love, and wire hangers forever,
Dilemma

*I do not condone or approve of Joan Crawford's actions in any way, shape, or form. Child abuse is NOT FUNNY and neither is beating your child with the previously mentioned wire hangers.

It's Virtually Impossible For Me to Write About Summer Clothes

2007-07-19T20:23:00.000-04:00

I just decided I'm in love with Shoboshobo sweatshirts!

They're a little Deep Red, and a little Claudia Kishi from the Babysitters Club, only a macabre version of what she was all about(crazy patterns and bright colors). Speaking of Claudia, if you're ever in need of some crazy inspiration What Claudia Wore is a blog that chronicles her brilliant outfit choices. Oh how I wanted to be her in the worst way when I was younger....

Oh Teenage Hopes...

2007-07-11T21:20:00.000-04:00

Today I did something I never thought I would do...
I cut my hair BOY SHORT. Being unphotogenic+having a crappy camera=this picture as evidence. No lie, I actually debated cropping Mr.Cuckoo Banana's face over mine.

I'm proud to say I've joined the ranks of Omahyra, Agyness, and Mariacarla by chopping off my precious hair in favor of a short cut. This is something I've wanted to try since I saw Elyse on ANTM Cycle 1 sporting her short hair makeover look back in the day. On and off for over a year, I've been thinking about going short, and when I saw the spread on short hair in Teen Vogue and figured, "might as well get it over with..." It's going to take me a while to get used to, since before this the shortest I've gone was a chin length bob. I think I'm going to love it once I get to wash out the oily grease [gel my ass!] that the hairdresser put in there to 'give it hold'. Yeah, right. I look like I've rolled around in a vat full of Cobrasnakeites.

Now that I'm done sharing my hair woes, let's talk about resort collections.
Most of them were boring and/or hideous, but there were a few that absolutely blew my mind!

Alessandro Dell'Acqua

The slimming little [not that the model needs it] eyelet a-line skirt plus a shirt that slightly resembles a men's button down is foolproof. Unless, you know, you are one of those greasy Cobrasnake hipsters that decided to take a roll in my hair. This collection had it's minor faults, like some unflattering "butterfly shirts", but all in all I love Alessandra Dell'Acqua so all is forgiven.

Burberry Prorsum

EVERYTHING is so perfect I can't even stand it.

The Georgia Frost + Danny Beauchamp combo is so good. The men's clothes were just as or MORE exciting than the women's. Need proof?

Ahem.

Attention F21/other teenage targeted stores that famously knock off designer clothes:these pants now. Go! MUSH!

I hate to be all cliche and use a naughty secretary reference but that's clearly what this look translates too. That dark plum purple is what makes this so hot. It's one of my personal favorite colors, which is probably why I love it so much. And to all you belt-nay-sayers, oh please; tell me that the belt doesn't completely work in favor of this!

Louis Vuitton

I know it's just my love for hotpants leading me to believe this is a good look. But I say that if you have the legs go for it! Oh snap, I'm watching VH1 and they're talking about the whole Brandon Davis/Firecrotch fiasco and I just want to take this opportunity and revise the statement about the Cobrasnakeites; it looks like the hairdresser let me roll around for a while with the ever-greasy slime ball that is Brandon Davis. Lindsay Lohan would look great in these hotpants, and we all know that the real firecrotch[aka you, Slimeball Davis] would look like a TRANNY. AND NOT THE GOOD KIND OF TRANNY EITHER.

Now, I was going to write about the fabulous gold D&G trench coat, but then I realized that there was already one in the Burberry Prorsum collection. So, which designer did the coat the most justice?

100% D&G for me.

A Saaphyri in the Rough

2007-07-01T22:59:00.001-04:00

Corny title, I know. But check it y'all, Saaphyri just won Charm School! And thanks to Model Misbehaviour, I have been alerted to this post-win interview with my favorite Charm School girl. How much do you love that she's going to have her own Lip Chap line? This woman is my hero[I know, I say that way too much about too many people. But come on, a line of lip chap? What gets more heroine-worthy than a lip chap line?]

So, when does this come out on DVD?

Just Can't Get Enough

2007-06-27T23:41:00.000-04:00

Everyone should go join StyleMob; it's MyStyleDiary's prettier cousin, which if you're shallow like me, probably turned you off of StyleDiary in the first place. Mobsters are cooler than diaries anyway, at least in theory. I was planning on begging my friends to join with me, but I learned my lesson when I tried to bribe them to make Livejournals. So of course I'm coming to you guys! I have ten invites and apparently I can request for more. It's kind of silly since now you can register for yourself, but hey;if you use my invites I get style points! Sadly but surely, you probably don't care about that either. Oh well, go join anyway. If you do decide to use my invites we'll automatically be friends[so if you hate me, just sign up using the regular sign up link. Common sense, yeah?]

Just to clarify:
If you want me to invite you, then I'm going to need your email address! Or just use the link, and supposedly that's what invites you on my account. It would also be nice of you to tell me when you sign up and if you used my link or not. Thank you!

My profile

EDIT:
Just a little forewarning: stylemob is not for the faint of heart! Go read La Petite Fashionista's review of the site[she's on my linklist, I'm too lazy to make a link] and you'll see what I mean. I completely admit that seeing the 'try again' vote on my favorite white dress outfit left me a little irked. But seeing that a few other people are getting upset about it, I thought I should say something. Don't let a few 'try agains' get you down! Clothing and fashion is about what you think, not what the anonymous voters on a website think. Even though I may seem like a big cyber-bitch, I hate being mean to people[except the Cobra Crew/Blondie/etc], and I'm super sensitive. Just not about things online! They don't even count, and if they did, we would be seriously FUCKED. Ahem. It's four o'clock in the morning, and I'm upset that everyone else is upset.

Goodbye Horses

2007-06-25T20:36:00.000-04:00

The title of this post is totally from that song that Buffalo Bill dances to in Silence of the Lambs, but I swear there will be no wacky transgendered men dancing naked in any way, shape, or form present.

Is this sweater:
A)LAMB by Gwen Stefani[didn't she make some argyle sweaters a few seasons ago? Or am I thinking of some other goofy pop artist-turned designer?]
or
B)Casual Corner reject from Goodwill
You really should know the answer to that. Argyle makes my heart burn, and it makes me giggle like a giddy Degrassi schoolgirl watching a Manny/Darcy catfight. Ok, I should seriously stop talking about Degrassi now; it has officially become the new Blondie. This vest was only $2.99, which makes it even better.

Yes! My treasured gold flats! We can talk about these. Steve Madden lost my trust once upon a time, and I have never forgotten. Somehow though, these adorable gold ballet flats sort of make me love him again. I was originally going for these quilted ones, but sadly they were a little pinchy around the toe area[but looking at all the 5 star reviews, it might just have been my feet]. Steve Maddens are very hit or miss, as I've come to learn.

Now, I must share with you all a very important experience I had on Saturday. There's this store downtown where I live that I would stare longingly in the window every time I passed, but it was usually closed or it was at a time when I couldn't pop in for a look. Saturday, my favorite shopping partner[aka my mumsie...I don't know why exactly I keep calling her my mumsie, though] made my dream come true. It is the most wicked store I've ever seen! Betsey Johnson, Andy Warhol-ish paintings, and metal fortune cookie necklaces abound! A cacophony of trumpets sounded as soon as I stepped inside; yes, I have found my new favorite place. Most of the stuff is super expensive, but it's so wonderful in there, and the girl who worked there was adorable and complimented my dress which was a very nice gesture indeed. And you know what Becky Bloomwood says-what's the good of discovering a new shop if you can't buy anything? Following my favorite fictional shopaholic's advice, I came away with one item of clothing; I like to think of it as a trophy of sorts. These tights are the light of my life...I have never been so proud to own something since I got my TokiDoki bag for Christmas.

Tights with horses and elephants. Who would've thought? These tights are Mona May caliber genius! They were $24, but well worth every damn penny. It should be illegal to be this in love with an article of clothing. I was this ---- close to saying it turns me on, but I'm not about to go quoting a guy who freaks out over his laundry.

The Cobra Crew:Degrassi Edition

2007-06-23T22:41:00.002-04:00

My greatest dream has finally been recognized. The cast of Degrassi on the cobrasnake, mingling with ACTUAL Cobra Crew members! And how much do you love the guy in the last shot? He's all "ROCK ON, YEAH" like the fake Pete Wentz from the comments section of my last post, where the comments got MORE than a little wonky. Kudos to the fans[or, I'm assuming they are fans because they seemed to know a lot about a certain cut...] started that whole mess, because it was the funniest thing to ever go down here.

Hey look, it's Ellie From the Block!

"Sup? I'm hella thuggin' y'all! My blazin' hot metallic jacket is supa fly."
WHY IS ELLIE NASH DOING THE SIDEWAYS PEACE SIGN?
Ellie, I totally thought you were above white chicks and gang signs, but I guess I was wrong. Get it together now frosh! However, I do really like that jacket, and Stacey Farber is pretty.

My favorite picture?

The random Spinner lurking in the background, totally unprepared for the picture makes this even greater.

Dicuss:
A)how many hipster points Marco gets for those black glasses, the fedora, and the exposed chest hair
B)how happy and glowing Paige looks. I'm just a little biased, since Paige is my second favorite[after Marco], and she's wearing sweet red Ray Bans.
C)why there are not more shots of Jimmy. Come on Mark, I would've expected better from you!
D)why Ellie looks like she's holding in a massive pee in some of these pictures. Bitch, you are in the presence of ~~internet~~ greatness. BOW DOWN.

Free At Last

2007-06-18T17:40:00.000-04:00

After I finally finished my online school coursework, I almost broke into song. Wait, I did break into song....it was Britney Spears' 'Hit Me Baby One More Time'. That's kind of an indicator of exactly how crazy school makes me. Fortunately this is not going to be a post about Britney Spears' fashion sense. If it was, we would all be prepping to shave our heads, and beginning work on our cellulite. I made chocolate cupcakes over the weekend, so I know I've been working on mine. Anyway, now that school is over, I feel as if I'm slipping into the abyss. Summer is a drag. If I didn't have to think about going to school, I would make a sincere wish for it to be fall. Summer clothes and I do not go together. I like layering, and cardigans. I absolutely loathe swimsuits and flip flops. The only thing to do now is to make a small Hit or Miss list.

Hit

Natalia Vodianova on the cover of July Vogue
I like to think that the Wintourosaurus did this especially for me in honor of my birthday month. This is quite a big thing for Vogue, having a model not featured somewhere in the magazine on the cover. The only problem I have is that Natalia looks like a frog in the shot[she does have a certain frog-like quality to her sometimes...ribbit, Natalia, ribbit!]. Seriously, you think you guys could have given the poor girl the right lipstick color?

Miss
Modeling Scams-they're a total bum-out.
Earlier, I was watching that Lifetime movie 'Selling Innocence' for the 3rd or 4th time, and I felt the need to voice my concern. Here we have a movie about a greasy-haired, pink-hating, way-too-short-for-modeling girl with great bone structure getting scammed by an evil con artist/"model" scout. I wish I had screen caps because that movie is just too golden. Mia is scouted in a mall, while watching a local talent contest full of under dressed pre-teens, shaking their leather clad butts in the predominantly male judges' faces. When Mia and her mother arrive at the agency, there are fake magazine covers plastered all over the walls, and some ugly short girls in the back room in their bad 90's outfits, just waiting to suck another girl into their tangled web of super-porno-stardom[later we find out that they get a bonus for putting on the act for the new girls!]. What baffles me is, how in the world did Mia get scammed? It's not that hard to figure out, even for the non-fashion mag obsessed people; use your common sense! When the guy asks you to start spreading your legs in lingerie, do you think there's a chance that he's trying to sell your cooter to the fat-bald-man world?? Oi vey. My favorite part? When the agent suckers the naive teenager into doing a live chat[all with reputable agents and clients, of course], he says "You think that Cindy Crawford has never done a live chat?" Hmm, I dunno, considering that Cindy was at the height of her fame when computers didn't rule the universe, I'm going to say that's a no. Lifetime movies rule my life, and it's going to stay that way. They teach important life lessons, everyone should watch them!

Hit

Goldie Hawn in Houseitter
This is such a fun movie, but for the duration Goldie is running around in leggings and oversized sweatshirts, which is fine for hanging out at home in. I'm wearing hot pink zebra print leggings right now, actually. They were for my Halloween costume last year, and they're surprisingly comfy for when you're not setting foot outside of the house...ok, so it's still all kinds of embarrassing to admit that. Whatever. Then there were the scenes that got me thinking about the type of things Goldie's character Gwen wore[or would wear]:
1.American Apparel Two-Toned Fitted Mini Dress This dress is kind of like High-Waisted for Dummies, and I'm so in love with it. However, the only way you'd get away with wearing this dress is if you have a great body, and you weren't afraid of VPL. So basically, I wouldn't be able to wear this since the cupcake binge doesn't show any signs of slowing down. Damn. 2.Girlprops Cat Eye Sunglasses-Gwen sports slim red sunglasses throughout most of the movie, and it kind of made me want to try them out and break away from the squarer shaped kind I've been adoring recently.
3. Urban Outfitters Dancerteria Knot Headwrap-This movie has done wonderful things for my shopping morale; it's made me fall in love with this type of head wrap all over again. Since headbands never fit my head[they always give me migraines], I'm in love with headscarves and cloth head wraps. Now if only I could learn how to fasten them myself...
And just for fun.

You'd be making this face too if some floozy in a pastel colored jacket was trying to steal your man.

Miss

Marie Antoinette-please, let it die.

WE GET IT, COPPOLA. You're a master cinematographer. You make beautiful movies-nay[even MORE kudos to Emma for correcting my cupcake-summer-induced grammar]-films that everyone adores. Except me. You can take the snooze-fest that was Marie Antoinette and go cry in a hole with Nick Carter[my favorite new insult, kudos to Emma]. The soundtrack was boring, the drama you tried to create was boring, KiKi Dunst was boring, the guy who played Louis was boring, the people with the fiery torches just waiting to kill Marie were boring, the 'pretty' things in the movie were boring. OHMYGODPRETTYFLOWERSANDCAKESANDDECORATIONS=GREAT MOVIE, RIGHT? Wrong. Very, very wrong.

Mmmm, how stimulating. A lesson well learned, I guess the secret to a successful movie is not through the plot, or the acting; it's through how many pretty deserts you can shove into one scene.

PS:Emma made me do it.

You know how I love those macros.

GENIUS.

2007-06-06T18:44:00.001-04:00

Lawn gnomes + costume noses + two esteemed Cobra Crew members + this song=gold.

That's all I have to say about that.

This is going to be my only post for a while[only about a week, but still] because I a crapload of schoolwork to do[MATH CAN DIE IN A FIRE. WHO'S WITH ME?]. But what better way to leave you guys than with your favorite Crew?

White Riot

2007-06-01T19:18:00.001-04:00

I've made a promise to myself to try and limit the 'celebrity' fodder for a while; so we're going to discuss wedding clothes! I went to a friend's wedding a month or so ago, and all I have to say is this; if you have a mullet and shoulder pads, it is probably not a good idea to combine the two and think it's a good look for such a joyous occasion. Unless your name in Bea Arthur, in which case you have an excuse. It is also completely inappropriate to dress little girls in Laura Engalls Wilder attire, unless of course she is Amish.

All this wedding talk as of late made me think about my dream wedding. I wasn't one of those little girls who thought obsessively about getting married[I was too busy wanting to be a Spice Girl], so I guess I'm starting to catch up now?

I have decided that my wedding is going to be the biggest, most extravagant wedding ever. The bridesmaids are going to dance down the aisle in this dress[preferably to 'Digital Love' by Daft Punk], or at least a variation of it...

We've previously talked about this dress, and I admit that it is the wackiest thing ever to come out of Dolce & Gabbana. But I love it too much to leave it out. When my mom saw this dress, she told me that, and I quote, "It looks like you're still trying to be a Spice Girl." She is absolutely correct!

Clockwise-Versace Spring 2007 Ready To Wear Dress. I would definitely not wear it in yellow; I'm thinking a peachy color[like the one I badly tried to photoshop] or white with silver. Audrey Hepburn and Andrea Dotti. A whole lot simpler, and I'm very keen on not doing a traditional wedding dress with layers and layers of frills and lacy crap. Yoko Ono and John Lennon. In keeping with the nontraditional theme, the white flat boots and the sweet white mini-dress would do just fine if I can't get my hands on...

Yes, this is Ms.Geist's wedding gown from Clueless. I know I'll change my mind a thousand times, but this is the dress my heart is truly set on. The only problem is, on the Whatever! edition of Clueless, Mona May said that they had to call in her friend that was into architecture to build the dress. This is the device [she refers to it as a 'leaning board'] Twink Caplan had to lean against because she couldn't sit down...

"If you come any closer with that camera, I will cut you. Ow, my back!"

No. This is definitely not how I'm planning on spending the reception of my wedding. I'm going to invite everyone, and it is going to be the biggest wedding of the century. You can mark my words, it won't be a boring wedding in the least[everyone will dance, dance, dance until they die!]. There is only one catch. If you wear sneakers or any form of sensible shoes[i.e-Birks, Crocs, or any of it's fellow brethren] YOU WILL NOT GET IN.
If my feet have to suffer on the 'happiest day of my life', yours will too.

EDIT:Everyone should also give a big congrats to Alex because she's getting married in five days! A little more exciting than Blondie's engagement, no? Besides, Alex and her fiance are responsible for this and there are only 2 things right now that I love more than low-budget horror stories:
1)Charm School-How much did Saaphyri rock tonight? I swear, the minute New York entered the room, I said 'oh snap' SECONDS before she did. I believe we are total sisters of the soul. And it has to be said; I live for reality tv bitches. But Larissa? That girl ain't right[-channeling my inner Bre from ANTM cycle 5-].
2)Degrassi-WHERE ARE GUYS LIKE SEAN CAMERON WHEN YOU NEED THEM? This is a serious question. Where are these guys hiding? Do they have their own private island somewhere I should know about? Sure, Sean is a total car wreck sometimes[but an adorable car wreck], and in the last season it looks like he used his hair to mop the floor of a club after the Cobra Crew has been partying all up on it, but don't you just want to cuddle him and make him beat people up for you*? I would also totally date a Jimmy type, even if he was in a wheelchair. Does that make me creepy?

Anyway, The Curse of Jane Harris nearly gave me a heart attack. Alex, if you ever decided that writing books isn't your thing, please do us all a favor and get involved with horror movies ~~and take me with you~~!

*That last part was a joke. I'm a peaceful soul, really I am. The Sean fans should be advised to NOT start an angry mob and/or message board thread.

We Are The World Part Deux

2007-05-28T16:27:00.000-04:00

Since some people aren't convinced that I really want to be a marine biologist in the future[you know who you are...and if you don't, you should go look at the comments section here], I feel obligated to prove myself in clothing/jewelry/good luck lobster form. There also seems to be a misconception that I'm geuninely losing sleep over Nick Carter and his association with the dolphins. I guess I'm going to have to start posting disclaimers now so that anonymous asshats realize that I'm only kidding? So sad. To go along with this post, you should listen to The Brunettes. Your Heart Dies and Whale in the Sand totally go hand in hand with the theme, yes? Your Heart Dies only applies because of this sole line from the song...

I could be as faithful as a seahorse
And if you were a marine biologist
They make me all warm and fuzzy inside.

This is a little plastic sea horse and shell necklace I bought eons ago at an aquarium in New Jersey. It's clearly too big to fit around my neck, so I wear it double banded around my wrist like a bracelet. Tell me, who doesn't somewhat love sea horses? Or the idea of sea horses. The males don't need anything like sympathy vests[you know, the ones that simulate being pregnant], because guess what? They males are the ones who have to have the babies[well...sort of]! I honestly find that hysterical; truly my favorite one of mother nature's gifts.

This is my good luck lobster named Toby. He's affectionately named after my favorite character in the best movie ever. I found him for $5 at a yard sale a week or two ago, and for some reason I believe he's going to bring me luck. Even if he turns out not be a good luck lobster, I would have bought him anyway. Lobsters are adorable! In an odd way. Because you know, they kind of look like giant sea bugs. And we all know how I feel about bugs.

Anyway, I am in lust with everything over at day-lab.com, especially their jewelry. If you're not into my deliciously tacky sea-horse bracelet[or lobsters], there's always the option of buying this adorable clear plastic seahorse necklace for $18.

My favorite necklace there, Terror of the Deep, has sold out before I got a chance to purchase it. Damn. However, its baby is for sale for $23. A little much for a glorified Shrinky Dink that you could probably make yourself, but I guess if you're lazy like me[and you've never really mastered the art of Shrinky-Dinking] this would be the best choice.

Even though it mysteriously disappeared on the Berdorf's website[it was there two days ago, but I guess it sold out that quickly] I would love to own this Marc Jacobs shark dress. The only qualm I have is the color[oatmeal is not very flattering on anyone], but the inconspicuous shark on the front might make up for the strange color. My mom is being amazing and saying she'll buy me one expensive dress for my birthday, and I am beyond thrilled about this opportunity. If I can find this dress in black[if I can find this dress at all. I can't believe Bergdorf's did this to me. What a hoe.], I'll probably ask for it. But until then, I've logged hours of time pricing things on Net-A-Porter and will continue to do so just so I have plenty of back-ups.

You Say We're Not [Internet] Celebrities...

2007-05-28T00:37:00.000-04:00

Here is the result of the 'The mystery person(s) that I'm going to be writing a 'column' about may or may not be....' poll!

Without further ado, I'll get right down to the post unveiling who I was really planning on writing about all along. Thanks to all you ladies and gentle-trannys[I'm looking at you Jaspeen! I'm seriously in love with that girl, no lie.] who took the time to vote! I am genuinely thrilled by the fact that 8 of you were realistic and voted for Blondie. But I have some stuff to say first; Originally, I was planning on Bob Bryar being the focal point of this column-ish thing[surprise, surprise!], but then I scrapped that idea on the lone fact that I'm positive a total of 1 person would care. Thus, I switched over to the people in this post. I wrote this last night[and have been writing it for like, a week], and posted it. After only 5 minutes, I yanked it off because it feels creepy talking about these people, you guys. So maybe it won't be a column. That word is way too official sounding for this tomfoolery.

The Cobra Crew For Dummies
Here's a little rundown of all the fascinating individuals I consider represent The Cobra Crew to its fullest. This is your chance to dive into hipster-dom without getting your hands dirty!

Mark 'The Cobrasnake' Hunter.

The originator of all things Cobra Crew. 'Famous' party photographer. Is what I like to call a 'future secret internet perv'-the techinal term is 'future pedo'. Most likely has a beard fetish. There is nothing positive I can say about him, mostly because I enjoy making fun of him way too much [which I guess is a compliment in itself, because you have to be really special for me to want to rip on you]. On and off again relationship with everyone's favorite...

Cory Kennedy.

Internet sensation. Bought 'hipster chic' style to the masses attention[by 'the masses' I mean every 14-17 year old girl with Internet access and a penchant for smelling like feet]. Wears adult diapers. Doesn't brush her hair, and likes it that way. Writes a monthly column in Nylon Mag where we follow her during her adventures to bargain outlets in the greater LA area. Probably the most controversial member of the Cobra Crew.**

Sarah Morrison.

According to some uninformed bitch at the Fashion Spot, she's an old Cory Kennedy wannabe. Is one very smart cookie. Voted Cobra Crew member most likely to own a hairbrush. [Used to?] host parties for Cinespace. Has really unfortunate looking t-shirts. Makes Youtube videos that discuss only the most important topics. *

Steve Aoki.

DJ. Will always be known as the lesser of the two Aoki's[Devon is a HOTTIE y'all!]. Has a line of clothes[DIM MAK] namely t-shirts and hoodies that for the most part I find very aesthetically pleasing. Is probably a little [see-a lot] too 'grown-up' for the Cobra Crew, but I feel the need to include him so that Mark won't be lonely ~~and feel obligated to start pestering the girls~~.

Linsday Lohan.

Firecrotch. Likes hanging out with CKL. Firecrotch. Uhm...was in that movie about JFK. Firecrotch. Was in Mean Girls. Firecrotch. Says 'God Bless', not even trying to be ironic[at least we can hope not because, that ruins the funny]. Firecrotch. Is really, really classy. ....Firecrotch. ***

Honorable Mention-
DJ Skeet Skeet-Is a DJ...named Skeet Skeet. That's all I know, hence, why Skeet Skeet is only an honorable mention.
Maggy Rogow-Is bfflz with Cory. Has really long hair that most likely holds the secrets of the scene. ~~Will not miss.~~

*The Sarah Morrison Clause-I have an inexplicable amount of love for SarahMo. Nothing bad can be said about her, apart from the fact that I really do hate her t-shirts[because I do not want to be SarahMo when I grow up;I'm far too interested to see what I can do as myself. Also, she looks 85 years old in silk-screen form]. Although, I have a bad feeling that liking her will come back to bite me in the ass.
**The CKL Clause-I have only one thing to say about this; I do like CKL. So please refrain from getting your adult diapers in a twist, okay?
***The Lindsay Lohan Clause-Hugs not drugs, kiddies.

Most, if not all pictures courtesy of The Cobrasnake. Sarah picture taken directly from her myspace.

We Are The World

2007-05-26T01:53:00.000-04:00

DID I FORGET TO TELL YOU ALL? THE INTERNET IS SOME SERIOUS BUSINESS.

Alright, I've decided to be all worldly for just one post and bring you guys up to date on some current events going on in the world! Because you know Dilemma Knows Fashion is totally eco-friendly and shit.

But before I start, I'd like to let you guys know that everyone's [and I do mean everyone's] favorite designer Marc Jacobs now has a myspace! He lists 'South Park' as one of his favorite shows. Now I understand the what the fuckery of those heinous denim maxi skirts. And speaking of Amy Winehouse, I finally figured out who that wacky kid reminds me of. The Count from Sesame Street! See?

Anywinehouse, onto the world event. This is dark, dark day for us future marine biologists of the world. As a proud FMB, I was alarmed when I was watching Best Week Ever, and they announced that Nick Carter[yes, the Back Street Boy Nick Carter] was to be the U.N. Special Ambassador of the Year of the Dolphin.

Picture from Celebitchy

WHAT?

I do not comprehend. Being a FMB, I would definitely have to classify this as 'disturbing news'. How is Nick Carter going to 'use his celebrity' raise awareness of the plight of the dolphins? HE HAS NO CELEBRITY ANYMORE. F U Carter, you used to date Paris Hilton. PARIS. HILTON. You should be the Special Ambassador of CRABS[you know, not the kind that dwell in the sea] not those sweet, innocent sea mammals. What did the dolphins ever do to deserve such abuse? Oh wait, didn't Aaron almost drown that one time? Are you using this as a platform to get back at the ocean and everything that inhabits it? Creezus, this is on a whole 'notha level[note to self-stop watching Charm School-it's rotting my brain]. Are the people at the U.N. on crack???

Whatever. Everyone knows crack is whack anyway. I mean it y'all, crack is whack.

PS:I think I had too much fun with this post.

Freaks

2007-05-23T22:26:00.000-04:00

Creepy little things are the cutest when done right[I still don't like gloomy bear-that's too messed up, even for me]. I love creepy things! Maybe it's all the Goosebumps and Are You Afraid of The Dark? I've been watching lately-wait, no, I've always been like this. I love it when creepy things can make you laugh. Blame Child's Play and Leprechaun, since those happen to be two of my favorite movies of all time[especially Leprechaun In the Hood-that movie is made of GOLD]. My fascination with horror movies[bad or otherwise] probably has something to do with why I'm so in love with these t-shirts by Elena Gallen. We have a totally normal, cutesy character like sweet little Bambi...

...And she twists it into Two-Headed Bambi the circus freak! Let's just hope the scene kids don't get wind of this next!!!

Scariest Disney villan of all time+tattoos=the best shirt ever. It's true, Ursula scared the shit out of me as a little kid. I was easily scared, ok? And admit it-Ursula a terrifyingly large woman! A giantess, if you will[think Rosie O'Donnell circa...well, now]. I'm between this and the Bambi shirt; they are both so incredibly me it's rather disgusting.

Also in the 'Freakshow' collection, we've got Snow White as the bearded lady[best idea ever!], and The Little Mermaid with three boobs[brings a new meaning to the term uni-boob, eh?]. You can also buy a coked out Kate Moss t-shirt, but come on. That's taking the EASY way out!

Rock to the Rhythm

2007-05-18T17:38:00.001-04:00

Once upon a time, in land far, far away, there was a young girl who responded to a post written by Miss Couture concerning Naomi Campbell. There, she made a critical Halloween costuming decision.
"I think I just decided that I'm going to be Naomi next Halloween. I'll get all dressed up in expensive[meaning fake] furs and a really fabulous dress and throw plastic cell phones[probably bought from the dollar tree] at people." Guess who can't wait for next Halloween?

And people have the gall to ask me why I adore this woman. Five words[one conjunction]: do the Naomi shuffle y'all!

"Even though I had to wear that stupid back brace and you were kind of fat, we were still totally cutting edge!"

2007-05-15T18:38:00.001-04:00

As promised, this is a mega-post dedicated to my one year Blogger anniversary! I thought that since my very first[kind of crappy] post was a nod to my love of making lists, it was only fitting that the one year anniversary post should be a series of fashion lists! Be lucky I decided to scrap my first idea of including a list of my 'favorite on screen deaths'.

Favorite Movies For Fashion
-Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

Lynne Stone is one of my favorite on screen personalities, and she's really the only reason why I would call this movie fashion inspo. She wore outlandish outfit combinations[yes, that is a large plastic cricket on her hat], leggings, and rocked a reversible skirt; one side was shiny patent leather, the other side was her regulation Catholic school uniform skirt as transformed by velcro. "Velcro. Next to the walkman and tab, it is the coolest invention of the 20th century!" Yes, this movie is so eighties it hurts, but sometimes you need a good kicky eighties dance movie to watch to every now and then. It's good for the soul!

-Romy and Michele's High School Reunion

Aside from the fact that I quote Romy and Michele way too much in every day life, I will cherish this movie for the rest of my days. Arguably, the dresses were way too short, the platforms were hellishly high, and ultimately the clothes in this movie were too unrealistic. I say; oh puh-lease, don't be such a bore! The fashion choices in this movie are nothing short of legendary. Sandy Frink wore light up sneakers to the reunion for God's sakes! Mona May, my good woman, you are a GENIUS.

-Clueless

Anyone who says this is 'not the movie for fashion' will be shot on [web]site. Every single person in this movie down to the boys[well...mainly just Christian] was impeccably dressed. Another Mona May styled movie that makes the list; this woman is full of PURE UNADULTERED GENUIS I tell you!

-Me Without You

Lots of berets, petticoats, and even some trash bag dresses[you know the kind I mean]! This is probably where Sienna Miller got her inspiration to wear that outfit with the black sweater and the support hose. Let it be known; ANNA FRIEL WORE IT FIRST. Sienna girl, you better be giving credit where credit is due, bitch.

My Favorite Models
Lara Stone

You know, gap teeth are really, really charming on girls. I think I may have a gap tooth fetish, kudos to Danielle from Cycle 6 of ANTM and Lara Stone here. Although she doesn't really do anything for me on the runway [fair walker, but she looks like she wants to hunt me down and force me to watch her eat my loved ones], I have to say her editorials never dissapoint. Someone compared her to Sasha Pivovarova once, and I would be hard pressed not to agree. She has the same commanding quality as Sasha, the one that makes you want to look at all her photos.

Diana Dondoe

We need more Diana Dondoes in the industry these days. Too many girls are foisted upon me looking frail, sickly, and way too childlike[I'm strongly against the use of baby prostitutues]. Examples? This girl's name is Piveta, but I will from now on refer to her as Samara. Then we've got our Johanna Stickland, who I may have accidentally called Johanna Sickland. Seriously, what's going on here? Is it cool to look like a dead 5 year old now? Where are the girls who look like they can kick some ass? This is where my beloved Diana comes in, and for that I'm grateful.

Iekeliene Stange

For some, her style may be dubbed 'too tacky' or 'too wild' or simple 'she looks like a mental patient on crack', but I could look at candid photos of her for hours. The girl has a real sense of style. All you Iekeliene nay-sayers are the same people who find Piveta riveting to look at. She's exceptionally versatile contrary to popular belief, and I think the fact that at the point of her 'discovery' she had dreads, it makes her even cooler than you already thought she was.

Tanya Dziahileva

I'll just come out and say it;I would go lesbian for her. SHE'S THE CUTEST MODEL EVER OK. See? I hold the fact that she often looks like Sissy Spacek in 'Carrie' near and dear to my heart.

Susan Eldridge

Yes, you may know her as Terry Richardson's ex, but she is so much more than that[besides, aside from being a great photographer Terry is hella skeevy]. Susan Eldridge makes me die a little in side every time I see her; she's got to be one of the prettiest girls in exsistance. She's got the right amount of innoncence[NOT SICKLAND-LIKE INNONCENCE], 'fashion' type sex appeal, and as Ty Ty would say, she can take hoe and 'make it fashion'. I love that no matter where I try to go, Ty Ty's words of wisdom follow me like a bad weave.

Doutzen Kroes

Doutzen will always be one of the best models in town. I think it's the lips. She's absolutely stunning in every way possible, and no one will ever be able to duplicate the Doutzen pout[save for possibly one of the Olsen's...but that's a different story]. Now that Gisele left VS, they should seriously consider giving up her spot to Doutzen. She represents everything that is Victoria's Secret, and they would have to be idiotic to miss that[maybe our fellow retired VS Angel Ty Ty can steer them in the right direction if need be]. I think she needs her own nickname; Heidi Klum was 'the Body', so Doutzen shall be 'the Doutzenator'.

Mariacarla Boscono

For all the jokes I made in her name, she has her shit together. Her presence on the runway is unparalleled with any model of today[slight hyperbole, but I don't care], and I'm still waiting for her to make an unexpected comeback somewhere soon. In short, Mariacarla Boscono is the epitome of all that is fierce.

Collections That Set My Heart Ablaze
Dolce and Gabbana Spring/Summer 2007 Ready To Wear

Say what you will about this collection[like how pieces are a blatant rip off of Gucci S/S 2001 RTW], but you can't deny that everything about it is INSANE. It houses what could be my favorite outfit ever, and that would be the one above. Yes, the armor-esque contraption that Stam dons bravely is my favorite, and I'm not ashamed to admit it [I'll probably write more about my love for it in the near future]!

Sonia Rykel Fall 2004 Ready To Wear

The adorable berets, the humorous eye/hand sweaters, the femininity of it all; this is the only collection not from 2007 that I had to include. It made me fall in love with Sonia Rykel!

3.1 Phillip Lim Fall 2007 Ready To Wear

Alright, take a good look at the entire collection, top hats and all. This what I would like my style to be in condensed form.

Oscar de la Renta 2007 Resort

Dresses that Scarlett O Hara would've been proud to own, the simplistic shifts; there's nothing flashy or deliciously tacky to be seen in this collection. But then again, I don't think I've ever seen armor or a sweater with eyes on the boobs in an Oscar de la Renta collection...I'm thinking that in his case, this is a good thing.

Versace Spring 2007 Ready To Wear

Donatella's appearance may strike fear into the hearts of fashion fans everywhere, but her work is to die for. Add this entire collection to the list of the things I would sell my soul to own.

Jeremy Scott Fall 2007 Ready To Wear

Watching this show in action makes the over the top beehive hairdos and jukebox dresses all the more exciting. And what sane person doesn't love Big Girls Don't Cry[that's not a weight related slur by the way]? I also fell in love with Behati Prinsloo as a result of watching this; homegirl undoubtedly stole the entire show.

-End Post because I'm tired, this took me forever and things kept malfunctioning, I don't feel like writing an end paragraph, and the spellchecker isn't working. I'm going to go watch Opera. You know, I've written through a lot of great times on this blog[totally stole that from the Golden Girls and twisted the words around]. I love you guys, by the way. No really, I'm being completely honest. I love you even if you like Sienna and/or Samara. Dilemma, out.-

Buy A Vowel? Pah! I Laugh In The Face Of Your 'Vowels'

2007-05-13T22:30:00.000-04:00

Yet another reason why celebrities should shut up and stop trying to go without stylists[unless you're one of those rare anomalies like Zooey Deschanel/Reese Witherspoon]. Go back to being Zoe-ified ladies; anything is better than this fashion slaughterhouse. Anyway, I figured I better do a clothing related post soon or else I would start getting those creepy death threats again. Right, I never received death threats exactly, but I did get yelled at by one hostile anon.

Everyone and their grandmother[unfortunately I mean that in literal terms] are getting in on the high waisted/wide legged trend. I have this pair of wide legged jeans from Urban Outfitters that were purchased way back in January[I blew all my Christmas money on them plus a pair of black suede boots] that fit like a dream, meaning they are HIGHLY recommended. If your heart is really set on bringing back the seventies, you could try these bell bottom jeans from Intermix. However, you're entering very risky territory when you start to try out the wide legged trend-you have to have the right shoes[I wore them with said black boots once and now that I think about it I must've looked like a complete tool], and the right cut for your body[I'm staring at YOU JSimp!]. Like, I'm not sure exactly what's wrong with JSimp's pants; maybe it's the fact that because they're so high waisted and they have no detail whatsoever, she looks like Gumby from the waist down. Poor JSimp, it's tough when Lindsay Lohan is photographed looking better than you do. Actually, I take that back. What is it with that whole Cobrasnake crew and adult diapers anyway? Is this Mark Hunter's doing?

As proven by Salvatore Ferragamo, high waisted shorts do not have to ride up so far into your cooter that you get diaper rash[LINDSAYCORYMARKETC]. These are the most endearing high waisted shorts I've ever seen; there is a way of wearing this trend and wearing it tastefully! Overall I'm still extremely wish-washy on this whole high waisted shorts thing because I will never be over the fact that:
a)they can sometimes appear unbelievably skanky looking
b)it is a proven factoid that the Cobra Crew uses them as adult diapers
c)knowing Peet Whence, he will probably start selling them in his new line of clothing anytime now, with a big picture of his face on the ass. Oooh, scratch that, maybe he'll put Ashlee on one cheek and a monkey on the other? So haute couture.

~~Fashion Slaugtherhouse~~ Scan courtesy of Life and Style Magazine
Salvatore Ferragamo Spring 2007 RTW courtesy of-Runway Models
FAWB[no, not a typo] Video courtesy of-The lovely Timmy @ Hypnotic Romance

PS-May 15th is my one year blogging anniversary so I'm planning on writing a ridiculously long post to commemorate! And I'm unleashing something new to my blog shortly after, even if it has nothing to do with fashion. This new column-ish thing has everything to do with a mystery someone. You could vote in the poll on who it may or may not be.

EDIT:Even worse: P33t W3ntz in high waisted pants.
-Hypnotic Romance
I give you...

They flatter him better than they flattered JSimp, no?

Schatar Vs. Nene-Pick Your Sides!

2007-05-12T12:11:00.000-04:00

Today I was planning on possibly having a Tales From the Crypt marathon, because who in their right mind does not enjoy the evil 'eh-hehehehehehe' cackle of the Crypt Keeper? But anyway I got sidetracked by re-watching[for the thousandth time] The most recent Flavor of Love Charm School episode, which got me to thinking about ANTM this week. Everyone was all up in arms over Nene, Jaslene, and Dionne 'shittalking' Nata. In all honesty, people need to chillax about that; they weren't even being that mean. In Nene, Jaslene, and Dionne's defense, I always thinks she looks like a clown in person-what a waste of a hot haircut. Overall I like her, but she can get annoying to watch. Actually everyone this season got annoying to watch at some point.

So my question is, do these people watch Charm School? I think they would be quite alarmed to learn that girls are in fact even meaner than Nene. Who would you put money on in a fight between Nene and Schatar? I think we all know the answer to that. Schatar would bat her eyelashes and outwit Nene so fast, Nene's head would literally smoke. It's coming down to the end of the cycle here, and I only have to say one thing now that Dionne has been eliminated. I hope Saaphyri wins. Sure, she's not even part of the ANTM crew, but I don't care. I decided that I am rooting for her to win everything: American Idol, ANTM, EVERYTHING. She works at a hair salon called Back 2 Da Napp. Anyone who works at a hair salon legitimately called 'Back 2 Da Napp' is has already won the battle...whatever the battle in question may be.

Hottie/Schatar IS a modern day reincarnation of the Crypt Keeper.
Complete with evil cackle, wicked ability to make me laugh, AND I believe they both have the same weave!

Dress Sexy at My Funeral

2007-05-08T22:37:00.000-04:00

RIP Isabella Blow

Now that she's gone, who do I have to look up to? The Wintourosaurus? What a scary thought; allow me to let out a bloodcurdling scream of complete terror. I just watched 'Wait Until Dark', so I can channel my inner Audrey Hepburn-as-terrorized-blind-woman. Sweet.

The Girl's A Superfreak

2007-05-03T18:39:00.000-04:00

[Click To Enlarge]

Refresh my memory-when did Cory Kennedy become a style icon?

Love the girl to death[...most of the time], but this is LUNACY.

Please Cory, come back to us. Preferably not clad in adult diapers. Don't you miss the glory days? I know I do. Back then at least I could say you were some sort of inspiration and defend you to all the people who said you're a good for nothing in need of a shower.

It might also help if you backed away from Nylon. If Nylon was smart[which obviously they're not] they would hire someone like Isabel to write a column and appear on Nylon TV. [Although I think that Isabel or anyone like her is probably too good to want to sell their soul to the devil like that.] As much as I enjoyed reading your riveting piece on how to find a super-snazzy outfit at K-Mart for $30, I couldn't help but notice your lack of...well...writing talent. Not saying I could do any better[maybe if I really applied myself], so don't make Mark eat me PLEASE!

I usually loathe when people say this, but creezus;PUT SOME PANTS ON GIRL.

Ladies and Gentleman:Roy Orbison

2007-05-01T19:00:00.000-04:00

Even people who have no interest in fashion whatsoever can agree that sunglasses are essential. The really awesome thing about them is they are never season inappropriate like cashmere sweaters[you'd roast in the summertime] or sandals[unless you enjoy frostbitten toes]. They always bring about the best memories and references too!

This is my absolute favorite pair of sunglasses in the entire universe as of now. You can kind of see them in my little default picture up in the right hand corner. The shape is kind of like the Rayban Wayfarer that everyone-including yours truly-is currently having a sunglass-orgasm over. [You'd have to be as optically challenged as Stevie Wonder to not notice their recent comeback.] I'm currently having a love affair with neon pink, demonstrated by these sunglasses and the neon pink headband I bought at Wet Seal Friday. Let's just hope yellow doesn't find out, because it might become envious.

I've actually never watched Lolita or read the novel, but I think most people know that the box of Stanley Kubrick's version came in feature 'Lolita' in red heart sunglasses. So maybe it's my very own inner Lolita that loves these, but damn-if it is, she has excellent taste.

This$10 Girlprops pair has been patiently sitting in my Favorites for well over two years, but I never decided to move on them. Bad judgement on my part, since just around the time that I noticed these, I put a bid out on these Dior sunnies on Ebay that cost $60. When I received them they didn't fit my head, and they weren't even authentic[I was a first time buyer, mind you]! The little 'Dior' nameplate fell off after a few wears. It was so lame, but live and learn I suppose.

These are just too groovy for words. Unfortunately, I don't have any little sorted anecdote about my life to go along with these, so I'll just leave it at this:I WANT THESE IN THE WORST WAY IMAGINABLE. Available at 80s Purple for $15.

The Cool Points Are Out the Window, And You've Got Me All Twisted Up in The Game

2007-04-24T01:32:00.000-04:00

My house is kind of Creepshow-esque right now, and by Creepshow-esque I totally mean They're Creeping Up On You!-esque. My house is a gaping portal of doom, and all these gnarly[yes, gnarly] bugs keep showing up everywhere. I do not do very well when dealing with bugs, and I've only just gotten over my fear of killing the smaller ones without the aid of Raid[unintentional rhymes, for the win]. Literally a bug just flew over my head, and I had to stop typing this and kill it. I'm too scared to go upstairs to my room, where just my luck, they seem to love to hang, I'm going to use my old picture of Missbehave to make this post even though I wanted to use the new issue. Asshole bugs always ruining things for me. [A/N-I actually did go upstairs to get the magazines after I wrote this, and ended up falling down my stairs in the process. It was pretty graceful, thus proving the fact that I should really learn to trust my instincts about things like this.]

I'll be honest-I don't have that many issues of Nylon[I'm guilty of getting it just around the time of the myspace issue, and subscribing around the Avril issue] and I get the impression from die-hard fans that it was so much better than it is now. I certainly hope it was[at least those fans will have something to hold onto as it goes down the tube], because I think Nylon is boring as sin most of the time. I know it's supposed to be synonymous with all things ~*~*~indie*~*~*~ and cool, but woe is me, I am neither indie nor am I really that cool.

This is where Missbehave comes in. The writing it is delightfully witty, and the models don't look like a small gust of wind would blow the skin right off their hollow-eyed faces[skinny has nothing to do with it, most of those girls look like they're just come out of a coma and Nylon had photographers waiting outside the hospital]. They tell you what belongs in the 'Fashion Graveyard'[first it was moon-boots and now it's skulls]. They wrote about Christina Lindberg, Clive Owen, and Aaron Spelling[in letter form, no less] all in one issue. There is no annoying 'skinny debate' article telling you that in order to be a real woman, you must have curves. There was, however, a comical mock board game called 'Monotony' in the newest issue, where your goal is to MK your way to a size 00[it's all a joke, don't worry]. Missbehave is what's up, and you need it in your life. Cancel your Nylon subscription-wait, don't do that. The people at the subscription office clearly went into hibernation [seriously, they have the worst service ever] when Cory Kennedy left the building.

Those Are Fightin' Words!

2007-04-20T21:14:00.000-04:00

PETE WENTZ IS "DESIGNING" A COLLECTION FOR DKNY.
His Clandestine stuff is ugly enough as it is, I don't need it anywhere else.

Why is there a deformed dog on the front of the shirt? Why is there some big puffy black thing coming out of the side of her neck like a big tumor? Why Sweet Jesus, WHY IS THE UGLY INVADING EVERYTHING?

I was going to make a nice, civilized post about my love for Missbehave magazine, but no. This had to be said.

Tyra Banks, Urban Outfitters, and Deception

2007-04-18T22:31:00.000-04:00

Tyra Banks is one classy lady.

The Tyra Banks photo was completely irrevelvant to the post, but it made me laugh regardless. *ANTM SPOILER ALERT*I REALLY MEAN IT, THERE'S A SPOILER IN THERE. I'm so glad Jael is gone. She makes me think of the kind of girl that everyone else loves but I secretly hate. And she sounded like a pothead 75% of the time, even it was a sweet pothead. I'm totally on Team Wholahay/Dionne!*ANTM SPOILER ALERT*

For about four months now [well it feels like four months, but it really could be about four weeks. Moving in the middle of a school year completely warps your sense of time-keeping.] I've wanted those colored jeans/pants from Urban Outfitters. Many a night I lie/lay/lain awake dreaming of those pants. Specifically some red ones.

Last weekend, my mother was kind enough to take me all the way to biggest mall around so we could go to Urban Outfitters and buy the jeans. We worked our way to the store, and as soon as I approached, I saw the rack of colored pants/jeans. My heart-beat speds up and my stomach tingles with elation[can stomachs do that?]. The scene ends as we fade out on me picking up pairs in peach, blue, purple, yellow, and black. They had no red in my size, but I am not deterred since the rest look like they'll be lovely. Fade out.

Skip a few scenes to when we open in on me, grinding my teeth and grumbling angrily in the dressing room. It's not that they don't fit, because they do;but they look off. Not bad...but certainly not good either. They're lumpy, bumpy, and incredibly stiff. I rip them off, and storm out of the dressing room. Then I proclaim to my mother that California Pizza Kitchen sounds good, but alas, I feel like I shouldn't even be eating if those pants don't fit me well.

Skip ahead about a half hour and one pepperoni pizza from California Pizza Kitchen later, I head bedrudginly into Forever 21. I hear that maybe, just maybe, they have some knock-off red pants in there. The nasty security guard comes over, taps me on the shoulder and shoves a 'no food in the store' sign in my face because I'm carrying a Starbucks coffee cup. Irrevelvant again, but this made my blood boil. The 'sign' is about the size of a standard piece of printer paper:who is going to see that??? But I digress-I '86 the coffee and wander inside, only to discover red pants. I'm overcome with feelings of happiness in relief until I realize they have none in my size. Shit. But, they do have red jeans in my size. I'm so desperate, I run to the dressing room[ok truthfully it was a leisurely stroll, because I had to make sure I wasn't missing out on any other nice clothes] and pull them on. Look at this! They fit perfectly! Heavenly and straight-legged, my legs look 10 miles long!

The moral of the story? Urban Outfitter can kiss my ass, because the pants from Forever 21 were $30 and the ones at UO are $68 [those are the yellow ones I tried on]. That's a whole lotta money for some crappy jeans/pants that didn't even feel good[because I actually have seen them look nice on other people]. I'll admit, the pants felt worlds better than the jeans, but the wrinkly I-Don't-Ever-Iron-My-Clothes look is just not my thing.

PS:Can I write about Sarah Morrison next time? Or is that too awkward? She has a fan site on myspace, so I'd say she's fair game.

Where Is My Mind?

2007-04-15T19:49:00.000-04:00

I have come to the conclusion that I am one of the most disorganized persons in the world. Although, I don't think I'm as bad as the people on 'How Clean is Your House?' because I don't have strange little creatures growing all over my room. I swear I'm not dirty, just hopelessly cluttered.

To prove my point, here is a picture of ~~my room~~ the Land of the Unkempt.

Note-This is only my temporary room. And yes, I was watching Reba on Lifetime because in the deep core of my soul, there's a spunky red-headed mother with a southern accent waiting to be unleashed.
This was taken about two weeks ago, and I've cleaned up since that time. It remained nice and tidy for just about a day. I don't know what exactly happens that fuels this vicious cycle, but I think it all starts when I'm trying on clothing to go out in. I'll pull a pair of pants or something off the hanger, hold them up to myself, think for a little while, and discard them onto the floor almost immediately.

I promise, there is a point about to pop up somewhere. You know when you see something in a magazine/online/etc and you've just got to have it? But then when you go to the shops with that specific thing in mind, promising yourself that you'll stay focused on just buying that one thing, you come home with a big pile of crap [even if it's cute crap] that doesn't even come close to what you set out to find? This kind of thing is exactly why you need to make a fashion planner.

I'll be completely honest in saying that I got this idea from a post in the livejournal called 'Organizers' where this girl posted about her fashion planner. It's a brilliant idea, and it keeps all your great outfit ideas/inspirations in one place, and it manages to keep even the most disorganized people from the aformentioned shopping dilemma.

Here are some horribly scanned pictures from my planner[horribly scanned because Dell scanners are all kinds of suck], just because I felt like I needed to include visual aids.

I may have a treacherous room, but at least the fashion aspect of my life will never be in such a shamble. This should tell you all you need to know about where my priorities lie in life.

What's In The Basket?

2007-04-10T21:35:00.000-04:00

Remember that movie Basketcase where the one dude is carrying around his deformed siamese twin in a basket and seeking revenge on those who seperated them? That's the first thing that came to mind when I saw this bag...if that's even what you call it. [It almost makes me want to go out and see if that movie is still around at the Hollywood Video] If this is an actual, real bag, I want one. Only not really, because that thing [dinosaur or dragon???] on top is creeping me out.

I know no one is interested in this but I have a fanny pack-ish thing now! I bought it ages ago from some sale post on LJ, and it's technically supposed to be a shoulder bag but it works this way too. I found it chillin' in the back of my closet under a pile of other bags. My closet is amazing for things like that. Whenever you go in, you never know what you'll find lurking in the back. I should go check and see if I already have one of these bags/a siamese twin tucked away somewhere.

You Go Glen Coco!

2007-03-24T23:07:00.000-04:00

To think, I almost cracked my 'I chime with hasn't Coco Rocha learned to close her Godamned mouth yet?' joke a few posts back. Homegirl can obviously break it down and still look charming. This video has renewed my love for Coco and all she does. Well this and the fact that I heard that she doesn't actually keep her mouth permanently agape in every shot, but the photographers use it because they feel it embodies her 'signature Coco look'. Someone said she has a very short upper-lip which dually contributes to this problem. Poor Coco. I still love you, you're still fabulous, and I'd proudly wear this shirt:

House of Holland Fall 2007 RTW, obviously
I actually like Iekeliene Stange better but I think I'd look a little silly in a sweatshirt with 'Grab My Weiner Iekeliene' printed on the front. It would give people the wrong idea. The Crying Game anyone?

If Guilty Free Had Been An Option

2007-03-13T02:51:00.000-04:00

Guilty pleasures.
We all have them. No matter how hard one tries to hide the fact that they secretly love 'insert uncool band name-uncool article of clothing-uncool tv show-etc', the love festers inside our hearts. Hm, festers is a skeevy sounding word so we'll go with 'bubbles'. The love bubbles inside, until it eventually overflows out through your veins, and you stop caring how much other people laugh at you[and they will laugh] for loving what you love.

I have only recently become way more comfortable with showing off my music guilty pleasures. Por ejemplo, not turning off the audioscrobbler when Avril Lavigne comes on. I don't care if 'Girlfriend' is a bubble-gum pop, manufactured, 'OHMYGODSHEDOESNTMAKEREALMUSICANYOMRE!1!', piece of shit; it makes me happy ok? So I decided to make a master list of all of my guilty pleasures. Be prepared-there will be Fall Out Boy mentioned.

1.UFFIE
Uffie hasn't even realeased an album yet and I adore her. It's not really a mystery as to why:her songs are catchy and they make you want to dance around the room in your black Steve Madden mary-jane heels, thrifted plum short-sleeved sweater and grey skirt...which I may or may not have done earlier tonight. The lyrics are harsh[i.e-I'm ready to fuck etc and so forth]. But come on people-this is the girl who raps,
'You wearing your pants down
It's dangling off your ass
Is it because you grab your ankles for a V.I.P. pass?
You use your new fancy phone, to call back your mother
"Hey mum I'm with my boys I won't be home for dinner"'
Uffie is my favorite, if not solely for that statement.

2.American Apparel Metallic Leggings
I KNOW RIGHT. How hypocrytical of a girl who once blogged that she'd rather be shot than caught dead in leggings. I saw them on Iekeliene Stange a few days ago and thought they looked grand on her. Now I'm toying with the idea of purchasing the American Apparel pair in silver, because the silver ones looked ace in the Elle UK spread 'Mettalic Superstar'.
Iekeliene Stange rocking gold [AA?] leggings, American Apparel Leggings in "Metallic Superstar"

3.Turbans
Well not really turbans,but the Prada-fied ones.

I would never actually wear one, but it makes me picture a mysterious drifter...a glamourous mysterious drifter, donning a hunter/emerald green one with black Jackie-O style sunglasses to hide behind.
A glamourous mysterious drifter walks into a bar, a poodle under one arm...

4.Fanny Packs
Oh lawds, I know what you're thinking. "LET ME X OUT OF THIS WHILE I STILL CAN! THIS CHICK WANTS ME TO WEAR FANNY PACKS? REALLY, WHAT KIND OF FUCKERY IS THIS?" Chillax and take a look:

If all fanny packs were made like this, I wouldn't associate them with:
A)What moms use to carry around spare change, the theme park map, the camera, the Park Hopper tickets, and the obligatory wallet sized picture case of all your baby photos.
B)Mark 'The Cobrasnake' Hunter sans pants. Talk about skeevy;even Cory looks on in awe of the skeeve: however, it could just be the ill affects of those tequila shots wearing in. [Shhh I still love you Cory.]
I forget where I found this[the bookmark has mysteriously disappeared into the interwebs] but I remeber it was a ridiculous amout of money.
So I was thinking about trying to find one like this for when I go to the My Chemical Romance concert[yes, shut up, I know. But dammit I'm kind of excited] so that I can be hands free when I jump into the mosh pits! Erm, actually I'll admit mosh pits terrify me, and there will be no moshing whatsoever. I'm not a very physical person, and I'm afraid that me and my friend Val will get trampled when we go. At least I'll have my trusty fanny pack to whack off the major fangirls.

5. Avril Lavigne
Nostalgia is my favorite thing in the entire world. I remember being in the lower level family room of one of my many houses[I'm not rich, I just move a ton], singing along into my play microphone with Hayley Jones every single word of Sk8ter Boi we'd memorized down the the last syllable. My Avril love dwindled as the years went on, until I saw her on the cover of the November[?] issue of Nylon. This issue reawakened my utter fascination with her. I love 'Girlfriend', and I love Avril. To me, she's not punk, pop, rock, or anything else. She just makes me happy.

6.Fall Out Boy's Pretty in Punk/Sophmore Slump/Sixteen Candles
Especially Pretty in Punk. Although, I do have so many degrees of dislike against Pete Wentz, it's unbelieveable. Maybe this snippet of a MSN Messenger conversation[actually I sent it out in a myspace bulletin afterwards] will help me explain...

It all started when I actually filling out one of those 'ten people you want to say things to' survey's when....
Danielle[Me] says: see if you can guess who this one is
Danielle says: Person number 1: You're really kind of disgusting. I hope you diaf diaf diaf. I lost my eye virginity to you, and you are the second most annoying angsty man on the face of this planet. Although, I do like about two of your songs which is kind of embarassing. Your name may or may not be p33t whence.
[One of my best friends, Jennifer]: LOL
Jennifer says: MAY OR MAY NOT BE

7.The Clique novels

Lo and behold my favorite guilty pleasure. I sound dreadfully un-hip admitting that I adore these. The well-read frown upon the silly middle school level books, full of bratty, upper-crust 7th grade girls with serious attitude problems. And rightfully so! I mean these aren't exactly The Bell Jar now are they? Anywho, I love these books and I've read them all cover to cover at least fifteen times each. Whatevs. And yes, whatevs is a word directly from the book. I think I need professional help.

There are tons of other guilty pleasures I could discuss, but delving into the big black hole of information that I fondly call my mind at 3:22AM does not seem like a very appealing idea. Got a guilty pleasures? Don't let it ~~fester~~ bubble any longer, tell me. The comments are screened.
I lied again. You can only screen comments on livejournal. But please tell me I'm not the only one who has guilty pleasures.

Dig For Fire [and Sometimes Shoes]

2007-02-19T16:17:00.000-05:00

[I love how you can see my dog lurking behind the shoes!]
Even though it is still snowy and icy, I've already taken an intrepid step oustside with these heels, and braved the snowy tundra that is Pennsylvania in the winter. Well you know, it's not really as bad as a snowy tundra, but I don't underestimate your intelligence for a second. I was surprised when I tried these on, because they are so comfy and pretty! To be honest, I expected them to look a little like witch-shoes. You can't blame me; I've had terrible luck with Payless in the past. My feet have suffered the worst pain of their lives in the devil shoes Payless sold me! But I stand by the statement 'let bygones be bygones'. Especially when it comes to footwear.

I only bought these because I thought it would be good to invest in a simple pair of black flats. Up until these, I hadn't found a pair that suited me well enough, so I overwore these until the point where there is now a hole in the toe. However, I will always love my holey-toed green flats-we've been through the mud together. And yes, I unfortunately meant that literally. A word to the wise-never try to jump across a "creek" in skinny jeans and flats. You will get muddy.

When I saw an article about jazz shoes in the November[??] issue of Nylon, I made them the object of my shoe affection. It took me a while to find a pair, but luckily Urban Outfitters had my back and started selling some here. A very sneaky trick indeed, hiding them in the sneakers section. If it hadn't been for a case of supreme boredom, I would have never even seen them.

They're a six and a half mens size, and they fit me perfectly. I choose to believe that this was no coincidence, and that the shoe gods[Imelda Marcos??] had these specific shoes waiting there for me at the Good Samaritan. They look perfect with everything except jeans, but I'm really kind of over jeans. If only they weren't so damn comfortable, I wouldn't have any in my closet at all. I'd be fine wearing dresses all the time.

Tell me about your favorite shoes if you feel like it!
I'm off to watch the rest of Growing Pains, which is basically my second favorite show ever [Golden Girls is the first, obviously].

PS:
When I first saw this, I didn't understand why everyone thought it was so funny. Then I realized why; it hit too close to home. [The shoe obsession part, not the the part about being a man in a blonde wig called Kelly] I still think it's the single strangest thing I've ever seen, but it is entertaining, and surprisingly easy to quote.

The Meaning of Life is Surprisingly Simple in My Head

2007-02-17T00:13:00.000-05:00

I have so many things to write about, yet such a miniscule attention span. Most recently, every time I sit down to type something up, I wander away and curl up in a ball with a magazine I've probably already flipped through four or five time. Another thing I've really gotten into is listening to my favorite CDs from when I was around nine years old. See-Christina Aguilera, LFO, etc. Hey, we can't all pop out of the womb listening to ~*amazing/indie/unique*~ bands like so many people claim to have done!

Tonight's distraction was sitting down to watch Audrey Hepburn and Cary Grant in Charade. So I decided I'd make the most of the this situation and talk about that movie!
If you thought Audrey was lovely and charming as Holly Golightly in Breakfast at Tiffanys, wait until you see her performance in Charade. She is outfitted entirely by Givenchy [as noted in the credits before the film starts] and damn, does she look terrific. But can anyone think of a time when this woman didn't look terrific?

This movie is absolutely brilliant; it's suspenseful to the point of being downright uncomfortable, and listening to the banter between Hepburn and Cary Grant is priceless. Besides, anything with Cary Grant automatically gets a plus ten points.

Let me make this perfectly clear, I would only sell my soul to own TWO material things in the world:
A)A pair of Marc Jacobs Mouse flats[the kind that literally have mouse whiskers and everything]
B)A hat like the one Audrey is wearing at my right.
A few of the outfits [and hats] in the movie have a definite Jackie O feel, and I don't think they could have made a better costuming descision. God, I love hats. Now that I cut my hair short [it's a little shorter than jawbone length] and my bangs aren't always obstructing my vision, I'm freer than ever to wear them!

Though, now that I've seen it, there is also no doubt in my mind that I will never need to sell my soul, because the Cary Grant shower scene gave my life all the meaning it will ever need.

Cary Grant shower scene cap courtesy of:outxofxcontext @ lj

Public Displays of Sheer Asshatery

2007-01-30T22:51:00.001-05:00

Excuse my use of the word 'asshatery', but I've had a pretty horrible day.
I think when a girl intentionally googles Jessica Simpson's 'Public Affair' to listen to on Youtube [while sitting in a greasy vat of self-pity, of course], it is certifiable proof that the person in question has lost all sanity. I stand by the fact that 'Public Affair' definitely sounds better on those Kidz Bop commercials. Fortunately, a few phone calls from the quirky friends that I left behind to move to this new godforsaken torture chamber [which just so you know, is some faux-ghetto in Pennsylvania] snapped me back into my senses. I'm taking it as a good sign that a few moments ago when I saw this pair of pants, my 'WHAT IN THE SHIT' reaction set in.

This is what happens when we let people who look up to Sienna Miller as a fashion icon design women's jeans-it becomes trendy to give off the illusion that you have no ass whatsoever. It was bad enough having to watch the Cobrasnake crowd run around in those awful rompers, but if I have to see one person, ANY PERSON, in these I will kill myself. Not only are they ugly, but they look incredibly painful.

To top this night off, I found out that the Barnes and Nobles two seconds from my house refuses to carry a plethora of my favorite magazines [they have Z!NK, which is good I guess] and the nearest Borders is too far to be of any use.
Shit, I'm in a horrible mood[as if you couldn't tell]. But I am back, and after all the post-moving nonsense it taken care of, I'll get back to posting regularly. I have a million things I want to talk about.

A/N-It should be noted [notes in an Author's Note, go figure!] that I adore a good high waisted jeans à la Lori Singer in Footloose. This particular pair is just horrible and unflattering. High waisted jeans should NEVER look like that.

Wouldn't It Be Nice?

2006-12-26T01:25:00.000-05:00

Merry [Belated] Christmas! Assuming of course, that's what you celebrate.

I spent the day lounging around in the grey skinny jeans and a Breakfast Club tee, listening to the Celine Dion Christmas music my mom was blasting and burning a CD for my best friend.

One of my favorite gifts was probably the most heavenly American Apparel cardigan on the face of good ol' planet earth.

It's right here, and I have to say if you were going to make a sweater investment, make it in this one. I got a large and it's oversized in the right way, and not in the 'I'm fat from all the Christmas cookies I ate, so now I must overcompensate with this huge sweater' way. It's perfect.

I hope you all got exactly what you asked Santa for! Are we still talking about Santa, or do most of us know...the dirty truth? Well if not, then I sincerly hope Santa got you everything you wanted.

Love, Dilemma.

Render Me Totally Annoying

2006-11-29T21:15:00.000-05:00

Someday, when my mom is eighty years old, I hope she acts just like Sophia.

My personal opinion is that the Golden Girls are the most underrated style icons of their time.

Especially Dorothy and Blanche-look at them rock those shoulder pads. Albeit, I'd probably claw my eyes out with a scissor if I saw anyone emulating this now. Yes, their outfits may show a horrendous lack of tast now-but think about it in a different way.
For being 50 year old+ woman living in Florida during the eighties, they were damn sharp dressers.

The shirt comes in white print on black too. But this is the one I'm getting.
Find these shirts here, on the second page

Singlehandedly the most amazing on-screen mother/daughter team EVER.
Sophia: I need the money for my old age.
Dorothy: Old age? You don't leave fingerprints anymore.

Dane Cook has zilch on these women, I tell you.

PS:I think everyone should read The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath. It's f'ing incredible, if you don't mind reading something kind of dreary. It's perfect for reading when I'm bored during health class. Which is all the time. My health 'teacher' is a madwoman-she's like my science teacher, except she wears North Face fleece jackets every day.

A WORD OF IMPORTANT, FRIENDLY ADVICE!!!
If you were thinking about buying a t-shirt, remember that they are made in MENS size shirts!!! I got a medium and it's huge in the arms and loose on the sides, but my mom can shorten the sleeves and I'm planning to wear it with a vest to minimize the bagginess.
Other than that, it looks really good on.

Dead Uncles, Vegetables, and Dilemmas

2006-11-17T19:07:00.000-05:00

Expect a NEW home for Dilemma Knows Fashion in a few days, or maybe tonight if I can think of a good name. I think I need a change, since lately I've been really repetitive and redundant!
Lorelai: It’s repetitive.
Rory: And redundant.
Lorelai: It’s repetitive.
Rory: And redundant.
Lorelai: We certainly are entertaining, Mac.
Rory: Indubitably, Tosh.
-Gilmore Girls episode Dead Uncles and Vegetables
I love Gilmore Girls before Rory got all Logan-fied and they both decided to get slutty.

For now, I'm just going to post a very simple Hit or Miss list.

Hits
-Butch Walker-No words needed, he is simply one of the coolest people ever. His music is what we should all be listening to. I hate to sound cheesy and weird, but his music tastes like magic, for real.
-Animal Prints-You know I've gone off the deep end when I start talking about loving animal prints. Lately I just want to roll around in a provacative fashion sporting a lepoard print cardigan while I listen to 'The Lion Sleeps Tonight'. No, I would never actually do that but it provides some pretty interesting[see:creepy] visuals. Animal prints used to look so tacky to me...but now they've become....wild and flashy. Flashy in a good way, not flashy in a 'let's flash my boobs' way. I'm so tired, I don't think that even made sense.
-Key Jewlery!!!-I've been buying so much key jewerly it's insane. You can find some really nice key necklaces at Target. So what if they're getting sued for copying other people's hard work? They have nice necklaces so I suggest you better stock up before the companies that have been ripped off start a revolt. Claires is also following the key trend. That wasn't intended as a pun, but it kind of works. I'm starting to sound like my English teacher talking about puns and whatnot. She's a vegitarian, and she's the only teacher I actually like.
-Cory Kennedy-I'm going to get bashed so hard for this. "Like oh mah gawd she hasn't done anything to deserve her e-fame!!!11! And she needs a shower!!!" Chillax guys, she's young[sixteen?] and she has plenty of time to do something with her life. "Oh no, she parties in LA!" It's not that uncommon, don't act so shocked. I totally never get the relevance of the shower comment but it seems to come up a bunch whenever you hear her name. I don't worship her, she's not my "thinspiration", I just think she's cute.

Miss
-Teachers who insist on telling the entire class that, and I quote, "WE ARE NOT EQUALS. I HAVE A COLLEGE DEGREE. BLAH BLAH BLAH." Oh really? I'm not your equal Miss Crabbyass? Maybe when you learn the difference between 'were' and 'where', and stop using 'thru' as an acceptable abbrevation when you're writing out notes, then I'll start believing that we're not equals.
-Ashley Olsen dying her hair. What the hell Ashley? You were totally my favorite twin with your shiny white blonde hair and your pretty pouty lips. Now you've gone all askew and Mary-Kate is starting to look all cute again. Actually all the Full House children have decided to go haywire. Jodie Sweetin hosting a TV show were a bunch of gross nudie people dance to The Killers? I never thought Stephanie Tanner would succumb to the beckoning call of Middle Child Syndrome, but this only goes to prove that anything goes these days.

PS:There are about a million people I've been meaning to add to my blog link list and I want to delete some of my pointless entries so hang tight. I've been way too lazy about this thing. Anyone who still bothers to visit/comment after my serious writing slump deserves a medal.

EDIT-Alas, a picture that combines a hit and a miss!

Apologies to the cute girl in the middle, because I honestly have no idea who she is.
Guh, Cory looks so grungy and I love it, gosh dammit.

The Dark Breed

2006-11-02T19:39:00.000-05:00

To say the least, I've been incredibly busy.
So busy in fact, I've seemed to missed posting on Halloween like I originally planned to. I hate being busy.
What did everyone dress up as?
I was a scenequeen. [hahahaha]
Kudos to you if you know what that is.
Lots of gawdy gold chains, zebra print leggings, one makeshift petticoat[that wasn't all that bad], and a sparkly pink plastic crown were what I sported running around in my tiny subrurban neighborhood. Some words I got from one woman handing out candy-
"Oooh I see we have a 60's princess!" I have no idea were she was in the sixties, and I know I did not look like a princess. Maybe a princess tripping on acid?

I haven't talked about models I love lately, so what better time than the present?
'Alien' looking models seem to be what I'm favoring lately. You'll see why.

Everyone seems to hate Iekeliene Stange. Why?
Because apparently she's a big bitch who wrote in her old Livejournal[don't bother lurking I think she deleted it after some rude comments] 'says all Americans are dumb and thinks all Brazilians are sluts', to quote someone from livejournal. Before she deleted it, I got a chance to skim over some of it, and there was no mention of slutty Braizilians or thick Americans.
She's also infamously known amongst some of us avid LJ lurkers for asking people to mail her a My Little Pony in return for an add. And when people allegedly did, she ignored them.
Now, think about this.
What person in their right mind goes out to buy a plastic toy in exchange for a livejournal add?
Can anyone entertain the notion that mabye she was...psh...I dunno...KIDDING?
Maybe she didn't want random fans adding her. Clever girl.

Either way, I love her. And even if she is bitchy as a person I will still adore her because she's so fun and quirky looking. Style.com named her a beauty icon, which is kind of a stretch, but she's definitely a personal beauty favorite of mine.

My ultimate favorite as of now has got to be TANYA DZIAHILEVA.
I am CRAZY about this girl. SO CRAZY IN FACT, I'VE DECIDED TO TYPE IN ALL CAPS AGAIN. The very first time I saw her, I was confused as to how anyone could consider her pretty. Silly Dilemma, what were you thinking?
Now I love her more than any other model at the moment. The polar opposite of Iekeliene, she's got soft, sweet, fairy-like features [no razor-sharp cheekbones here], which is not hard to believe considering she's fairly young. She's only sixteen! Not unheard of in the industry, but always a breath of fresh air. That's just as old, or close to the age of a handful of us bloggers.

In short, I love alien looking models, school should be illegal, and sixteen year olds with modeling contracts must have pretty sweet lives.

Dedicated To a Higher Purpose

2006-10-23T18:18:00.001-04:00

Much to my dismay, I couldn't make fun of ANTM this week. Everyone was too cute for words, and I actually liked the photoshoot. EVEN TY TY WAS KIND OF SWEET. In a weird slightly schizophrenic 'den mother' way.
Then for the better part of Thursday and most of Friday, my internet decided to commit suicide, I couldn't post then.
[My computer is more emo than every scenster on Myspace!]

So to make up for all that lost time, I thought I'd share one of the great online-shopping wonders I stumbled upon a few minutes ago.

Patriciafield.com carries a ton of 1337[NERD ALERT] stuff that I'm already in love with.

There's this adorable $26 cotton 'Drifter' tank top that comes in two different prints-one of origami[it calls it something else but I think it looks like origami, to be honest] and hearts and crowns. The dinosaur pattern is all sold out. Big shocker there!

To be perfectly frank, I'm sick of dinosaurs. I wanted to be an Archeologist/Paleontologist when I was five and they weren't even trendy. I mean when I was in first grade I went to Disney's Animal Kindgom all excited for the dinosaur rides and the one place there you could 'dig' dinosaur bones.
Now I'm older and they're suddenly all...cool? Why do people even like dinosaurs that much? I mean if you talk to 90% of the girls/boys that wear them like a badge of style, they don't know any more about dinos than the Land Before Time movies taught them.
The same thing with robots. AND GLOOMY BEARS.
Gloomy bears are the worst. They pervert everything a teddy bear should be.
CUTE AND FUZZY NOT GLOOMY AND BLOODY, OKAY?
Save that mess for my zombie movies and keep it out of the teddys!

Whatever. Moving along.
Don't you love the Marc Jacobs watch necklace things? You know what I'm talking about-they come in like fruit shapes like pears and apples? [Look at how crafty I am with technical terms! But really someone should tell me what they're called. Maybe I'll just google it.]
Even if you don't I have to say they're super cute, and also probably super expensive.
Marc Jacobs? Expensive?
Go figure!

But if you had your heart set on an apple, you can get a Kenneth Jay Lane one [minus the built-in watch] without dropping some serious green. Sure, they're 80 bucks but I think that's just a little better than what Marc Jacobs costs. Besides, white is such a nice color that goes with anything and the blue is not too bright or dark that it wouldn't go with any outfit. It comes in red too but I guess they just don't have a picture.

This is more of a wish list item because of the $96 price tag. I have no idea why it's so expensive.

The first thing that came to mind when I saw this was Showstopper-you know-the Danity Kane song? I'm sorry but that song is so addictive. It doesn't help I religiously followed the Making the Band 3 series from the very first episode. Well I had to make sure Aubrey and Aundrea were going to make it! And after that...I guess now you can say I'm some sort of mini-fan.
All my girls in the rainbow cadillacs, YEAH.
.....
Anyway, I don't know-but this bag looks like it might look a little cheap in person. Not cheap in a bad way-just kind of....well it's no knock off Balenciaga like the ones they've been pedaling at Target. Oh and did you know Target is in some serious hot water with about 4536437437 designer companies for selling replicas of their stuff? I think TokiDoki was the most recent. Target you need to get your butt in GEAR and stop ripping people off.

This is another perfect example of something that's deliciously tacky! No one would have one like it. And it's great if you're a Cadillac fan! Lame, but true. There's this one sophmore in my environmental/earth science class that told us about how her parents named her and all her sisters after cars. True story. Maybe on Wednesday I'll tell her about this bag. It would make a smokin' Mothers/Fathers day gift? Yes/No?

Oooh and last but not least let's all buy these shirts as stocking stuffers and send them to each other at Christmas/Hannukah/Whatever you celebrate!

Buwhaha.
That would take major guts to wear. But if I ever saw anyone wearing that I'd think I'd have to marry them. Or if it was a girl I'd have to get a 'civil union'.
Oy I don't want to start a big gay marriage debate in my comments so let's just leave it there, fair enough?

If I Tell A Joke, You've Probably Heard It Before

2006-10-08T01:01:00.001-04:00

It's 1:15am here on a Sunday night[or is it considered morning?] as I'm starting to type this up, and I'm rocking out to my mom's Abba CD. And by rocking out I mean dancing in my chair like a complete loser. I love how if you listen to that Gimme Gimme Gimme song the beginning sounds like Madonna ripped them off in that dumb song Hung Up. Oooh look at me I called Madonna and her song dumb! Oh hell, I call everyone 'dumb' but I seriously have five degrees of angst toward her. Material Girl and Crazy for You are the only songs I listen to[and enjoy] that she's done.
In fact, I think Blondie makes a better Madonna, don't you?

Look at those legs-YOU BETTER WORK IT, GIRL!
Photomanips make me all warm and fuzzy inside.

Speaking of warm and fuzzy, does anyone remember the old Jeremy Scott post I did ages ago? I'm feeling too lazy to go through the rigorous [cough] task of opening a new window so I can find the post and copy and paste the link into here, so I'll just mention it featured this Eat The Rich sweatshirt. Normally I'm extremely anti-sweatshirt because
a)I live in North Carolina and it's too f'ing hot to wear one[I'm from Pennslyvania/New Jersey so basically I stick out like a sore thumb amongst the sweater/puffy jacket clad citizens here.]
b)Sweatshirts don't really do a person any good in the body department, you dig?
This sweatshirt only proves there's an exception to every rule.
There would be great, and I mean GREAT perks to owning this tasty morsel of...clothing. Where I live everyone is all rich and 'blah I have a Hummer and you don't/Chanel is my baby mamaaaa/Abercrombie is luv*insert hearts and glitter and happy fluffy pink puppies*/etc' which is just plain silly because dammit when will SOMEONE AGREE WITH ME THAT HUMMERS ARE VILE THINGS THAT SHOULD BE RIPPED FROM THE HANDS OF MINDLESS, ENVIROMENT RUINING YUPPIES? Gosh I really know how to go off on a tangent...

Anyway it would be hilarious for me to wear one of these shirts. I'd probably get a ton of dirty looks from all the wealthy denizens of lovely North Carolina for promoting some sort of perverse cannibalism of the rich. And I can chuckle to myself sagely because they have more money than I'll be seeing any time soon...yet they're so naive and unfortunately they know nothing of the wonder that is Jeremey Scott. [I really do love all of his collections.]
Now if only I could get my hands on $225 so I could carry out my skillfully crafted scheme. Because I already have a short fuse about the obscene repeat offense at my school. It's this Button Babydoll shirt that every single girl owns. It's really very cute, but my goodness even the tomboyish girls who show up in grungy sweats have one! I had a green one during the summer before everyone started pulling them out of their asses and sporting them like they started the trend.
You didn't bitches, remember that.
Haha, no, I don't actually call people bitches in real life.
Alas, this is the internet where I can hide behind my shiny little computer screen and type about everyone being bitches as I nervously await a smackdown at school on Monday. But as I told my best friend Val yesterday, I'm a peaceful soul at heart. I really am.
Disclaimer-I think I was a little high on caffeine when I wrote this post. Now I'm off to look into the 150 Malt Shop Memories CD that's being advertised on TV. Hyped-Up-On-Caffeine-Dilemma, out.

You're Killing Me[No Really, I Feel Dead]

2006-10-05T21:10:00.000-04:00

Today I got the wonderful priviledge of staying home from school with a 101 fever and the worst sore throat you could ever imagine. So of course I'm on the internet checking my lj/myspace/etc, feeling like I'm about to keel over. I don't even want to think about the work I'm going to miss, therefore I thought I'd post here to keep my mind off the fact that I'm going to have a buttload of makeup work.

Just when I thought that the cloud of sickness looming over my head couldn't get any worse, I realized that perhaps the fever was starting to make me delusional.
Why was I suddenly overcome with this notion?
Maybe it was because I actually said I wanted leggings
-insert loud gasps/shrieks here-
Do not fear, I haven't lost all my marbles. The leggings I'm thinking of are the Coco Button leggings from Delias[not to be confused with Diddy's infamous 'coco butter skin']. Take note of the cute model in the green Doutzen tunic at my left. I have no clue why it's called that, but I like it because Doutzen Kroes is absolutely gorgeous and she's become one of my favorite models. But I digress. These leggings are black, simple, and they have a cute little cuff with two yellow buttons vertically placed on the area just above the ankles. Not one sign of mesh, animal print, or ruching here! Just a fun kicky way of wearing leggings, without looking like a complete douche. I mean really, I've seen a total of ONE girl at my school wear leggings and pull it off.
The Essential Rule of the Day?
JUST BECAUSE IT FITS AND IT'S CHEAP, DOES NOT MEAN YOU SHOULD BUY IT.
No idea why I started using caps.
But it looks pretty powerful, eh?

Something Inside of Me

2006-09-18T18:17:00.001-04:00

As of late I've really been into checkered print/flannel. Just check the hit or miss list. I admit, it was a lame attempt at a post. Nevertheless I think I got my point across fairly well!
....
Maybe not, since I took most of the time to talk about how Peter Wentz is ruining my life.
Which, he is. But that's beside the point.
The first time I realized that I had a burning, fiery love for checkered print was when I saw this drop waisted shirt from Urban Outfitters. Normally, I would've been all 'bleh flannel' but something inside of me said 'hey, you-this is a good idea'.
Now, I'm obsessed with finding a less expensive green flannel shirt since this one is $58. Curse Urban Outfitters and it's need to cost at least $20-$30 more than other stores per item.

Reader poll:Has anyone had a negative response to the way you dress at school/work?
Now I don't want to know about the time that you decided to wear leggings under a cooter revealing skirt, and a tube top to the office and your boss got mad at you.
No.
I have an example, actually. The other day this girl really just put me off, and really kind of shook me up.
The conversation went something like 'oh those are really cute shoes Ella'[Yeah, don't ask about the nickname], and then someone else went on to say how I always looked 'fashionable' etc. Which I don't think I do but whatever. Maybe I'm just really bad at taking compliments.
Anyway, then this girl who I'm not even REALLY friends with goes 'or maybe she's just RICH.' Just because a person likes to have fun with clothes does not mean they're rich, sorry to say.
So, has anything like this ever happened to you?
Not necessarily the 'rich' or 'fashionable' thing, but maybe someone told you that you looked bad or....maybe they told you that you looked poor?
If they have said that, I want their names.
Because Dilemma is going to have to knock some bitches out, for sure.

You Can Blame Zinc[No, Not the Magazine]

2006-09-13T21:19:00.001-04:00

School is ruining my internet life, and it's not making me happy.
I have to write a paper on zinc as if I am zinc.

Example-"Hello! I'm zinc! I'm in group 12 on the periodic table of elements! And I'm here to RUIN YOUR INTERNET LIFE DILEMMA. BRAH.'
....Moving along....

I shortened the hit or miss post into a bunch of hits and a bunch of misses, as apposed to a hit and a miss for each area.

Hits

-The Nun-Funniest 'horror' movie I've seen in forever, with actually a consistent plot!
-White or dark almost brown red nail polish
-Flannel/Checkered shirts
-Leather Gloves, Long elbow length gloves, basically any gloves
-P. DIDDY

BACK AWAY FROM THE BOTTLE DIDDY, I REPEAT, BACK AWAY FROM THE BOTTLE.
Or don't, if you're going to keep making these amusing little clips.

Misses
-Fear Dot Com-Basically just a rip off of the Ring, which sucked too. Hemophilia blah blah torture blah blah killer website blah blah-do the people who made this actually realize how many plot holes there was? No matter how eerie the box looks...just don't do it.
-People who do a french manicure...WITH PURPLE TIPS.
-Gold lame hot pants from American Apparel[that a certain SOMEONE ripped off]. Haven't seen them? Oh look, a visual aid in youtube form down below....
-P33t Wentz showing at Fashion Week. It was one thing to invade my magazines with your hideous Gap ads, it's another to invade the runways that I follow so religiously. A JOB WELL DONE-YOU'VE RUINED MY LIFE, PETER. Not really, but this is still unacceptable.

And since I already had this typed up...

Hit
Possesed Good Guy Dolls from the 80's

Child's Play is my absolute favorite killer doll movie. EVER. I love it even more than the Puppet Master movies.
Maybe it's the fact that the kid who plays Andy is the cutest little boy in the history of little boys.
Maybe it's the special 'bond' I have with Chuckie for destroying my fear of dolls in movies.
Maybe I'm just weird and rambling about things that are irrelevant to the post.

Miss
Gwen Stefani dolls

I guess the horse clog and the ugg-with-cozy wasn't enough for you was it, Gwen?

Chuckie would eat your shabby dolls for breakfast, sorry to say.
And basically every other post I've ever made eats this post for breakfast too.

"Your father's one sick mother. Actually your mother is one sick mother too!"

2006-09-02T19:19:00.001-04:00

Check it, the quote up there is from my favorite Wes Craven flick The People Under The Stairs. If there was ever any accessory that was made to remind me of that movie, it's this wallet.

You probably wouldn't be able to whip this out at school, or if you're just trying to give your parents a loan for the pizza....
But the use of profanity isn't going to stop me!
Well maybe because it costs $48 and the fact I already have a wallet will slow me down.
Anyway, don't let the wallet fool you this site has tons of amazing stuff for those of you who don't curse like a sailor [I refuse to use the word 'cuss']. For example the cute tote bags to carry your stuff for school that no one will have! And the original art section is pretty sick as well.

It's kind of like the Deery Lou character that Sanrio does....only maybe even a little cuter.
If you live anywhere near Philadelphia you can also visit the actual Art Star shop [directions on the main page].

Dilemma Invades Public School!

2006-08-25T23:23:00.001-04:00

Today was a very interesting [and rather nerve wracking] day-I had my first day of school today since 7th grade! Well that's not exactly true since I was homeschooling in 8th...but technically I haven't been in a real 'school' since the second semester of 6th grade. I went to a private K-8 school with about 400 kids in total during 7th grade so I'd hardly count that as means for learning to deal with public school trials and tribulations. Anyway, I was pleasantly surprised that when I arrived in the morning with my friend Ashley, that there were NOT 2000 girls running around in the same outfit. It seemed to be that the older classes of sophomores and juniors had the most unique outfits.

The first encounter I had was with a girl [presumably a junior] in full black-black baggy pants with chains, a baggy black t-shirt, black armwarmers and some serious black lipstick to put the icing on the big sooty cake. I'm not going to lie-it was somewhat alarming. Not because I didn't like what she was wearing, but because I'm so used to seeing girls in exclusively American Eagle and Abercrombie. And yeah, there were the snobby girls snickering, obviously thinking 'what the hell is she wearing?' but one of them had light blonde hair with the nastiest black roots I've seen to date so she really had no reason to judge. I guess I just have more respect for people who don't care what others think about them, and wear whatever they feel like. Being a follower is too easy-it takes real character to step out in something different and interesting.

Then in my honors science class, there was this awesome girl with a funky denimn mini skirt, a black t-shirt with a colorful pink, blue, and yellow design and matching kneesocks, wearing black kitten heeled mules. This was most definitely my favorite outfit of the entire day. I don't know her name, but I intend to make this girl my best friend.
You know I'm just kidding, but her outfit seriously screamed 'win!'. It was almost like the outfit to my left, but not as flamboyant. She stood out, but not in such a 'hey look at me I look like a cosplayer on my way to a convention!' way. There's nothing wrong with cosplayers, but I think if I started dressing full out ganguro style, that I would be promptly expelled for 'disrupting the learning environment', you know?

All in all, school isn't too bad! Well...except my history teacher told us about a thing he had in his class called 'cockroach wars'. No one is really sure if he was kidding or not. Pray for me if he wasn't.

It's My Party And I'll Fall If I Want To

2006-08-17T20:52:00.004-04:00

You should all thank the TLC show 'Wild Weddings' for getting my creative juices flowing for this new post. All of a sudden while I was sulking in my bedroom because I couldn't think of anything to write, I glanced at the TV screen to see a newlywed eat it on the dance floor. Then I looked at her light pink colored heels and laughed because what real woman, unless you're really wasted, falls flat on her face because of her lack of maneuvering skills in pumps? And believe me, these were no 6" stilettos.
That's about the point when my brain went 'EUREKA'!
No, this post is not about making fun of brides, this post is about the lack of high heels in school! Yes, I'm actually serious.

Everyone knows the start of school is just around the corner for most of us, although I know there are cruel and unjust school systems that already forced some of you all to start. There are many, many things I dislike about school; mainly that it actually exists. But one of the worst things to deal with style wise, is that you can't wear high heels! Either because of a strict dress code, or because your classes are always 1423 miles apart-heels simply have no place in a student's life! So I decided to make a list-a list of all the shoes that I wish I could wear to school, but if I ended up wearing them I would most likely just faceplant like the unfortunate bride from Wild Weddings.

It's no secret that I adore Marc Jacobs shoes, even though his new Ready To Wear collection is 90's grunge in not such a good way. But these are actually really great, they have so much going for them. These fall into the military look, without being too literal. And they're black meaning you could wear them with anything at all. Too bad they cost $368 which I don't think many people reading this can afford. But hey, I never said that my dream list was cheap!

You know what I see a lot of lately? Girls confusing 'shiny' with 'sparkly'. Shiny is like satin, or kind of like a can of soda. Sparkly is like sequins, and glitter. Of course you could always follow the example Tyra Banks and a pre-trashy LaLo set in Life Size. Sparkle and Shine. Eve would certainly find these Sunnyvale approved! Though, Tyra is a millionaire and she could probably afford the $385 price tag. If only we could get her to spread the wealth a little (not that she would, she's probably rip out her own weave before letting any of us hone in on her money).

Christian Louboutin shoes, what girl doesn't dream of these holy creations? I know it's probably kind of sacrilegious to say that they're holy-but dammit these are incredible! When I went to DSW once, there were some super high lacy pumps that sort of looked like these, and I wanted them so badly[I say that about a lot of stuff, don't I?]. Unfortunately, my mom decided to snap me back into reality and ask me 'What would you really wear these to?' and I promptly put them back. Because face it-I would look like a joke to most people. Older people don't seem to receive teenagers in "real peoples" footwear that well. Maybe it's because they're jealous that we can take the pain, and they're forced into orthopedic sneakers.
These weigh in at most expensive on my list at $720. Ouch. That's not what I wanted to hear.

My favorite shoes for fall would have to be the ankle boot, a trend that everyone is picking up on lately. Sure, there are flat versions of this style-but the platform is just so much cooler. Personally, I think mostly everything looks better with a heel. Flats are my favorite for comfort, but I'd be in platforms/wedges/heels 24/7 if dumb schools weren't spread out so far.
These are $515, and I don't even know why I'm bothering to type up the prices. You're all probably cursing me and my need to foist attractive and ungodly expensive footwear in your faces.

The brand that makes these shoes is called 'Pleaser USA' and they actually make really high stripper shoes, so I was extremely surprised to find these adorable shoes that mimic a spectator look. And these are much more consumer friendly at $40 on Zappos. I figured that if I didn't put anything affordable on the list, and angry e-mob would form. Or maybe I just really loved these shoes.

This entry post proves that inspiration can come from the weirdest places.
So I'd like to thank the lady that fell on national television for inspiring me! Have a very happy marriage! Maybe when I'm working and disgustingly rich, I'll mail you a pair of shoes on this list, okay?

If You Can't Find an Acceptable Pair of Leggings-Give the People Other Options!

2006-08-11T00:13:00.001-04:00

I just watched this weird movie called 'May', that I found sick, creepy, and just plain wrong. Of course, that ultimately means that I ended up loving it about two hours after it ended.

But since you probably don't care about that I'll move on.

The scan above is from the new Urban Outfitters catalogue. Do those of you who've still been wearing leggings see that it doesn't have to be this way at all? Or even those of you who wouldn't dare touch leggings? There can be a middle of the road here people! The picture above clearly demonstrates that! Why not satisfy the urge to strap on those scary plaid footless tights, when you could easily pull on some black tights? The polka dots are optional, because I know that maybe not everyone loves them.

Or you could go Stacey Dash a la Clueless and snag some white cuffed socks!

Oddly enough, the guy who played that creep Elton was in May! Yeah....he was killed off [and the girl took his hands and sewed them onto her 'creation'] but if we're going off his character in Clueless he totally deserved it!

So the lesson for today?

Sewing the perfect 'friend' out of other people's body parts is NOT AN OKAY IDEA.
And neither is wearing plum leggings that have some weird kind of keyhole tie in the back.

It'll Be Anarchy All Right

2006-08-07T18:59:00.002-04:00

Everyone has a woman that they look to for fashion inspiration-kind of like a style muse, right? We all know the popular choice for fall is Edie Sedgwick and Sienna Miller with the skinny jean and ballet flat trend going as strong as ever. But no one ever said a man couldn't be a style icon now did they? Besides I like a little androgyny now and then! And before you all suspect that I'm going to go off picking someone from My Chem-know this. If I'm ever caught going out of the house in too much red eyeliner and a fake blood stained suit-shoot me please.

Now you may laugh all you want at my choice, but The Breakfast Club's very own John Bender style will stand the test of time.
Not only did Judd Nelson's performance steal the damn movie [don't lie, you know he did], but John's style is actually sensational. Claire Standish had nothing on him with his classic tweed coat, fabulous layering technique, and most importantly his motorcycle boots.

I have a pair of boots almost like these and I literally call them my 'Bender' boots. I love them dearly, but the only problem is they look more 'let's go hop on my Harley!' then 'haute couture'. Which doesn't really bother me, but I'd like to consider my options! Thankfully, United Colors of Benetton got the message, and most of their Fall/Winter 2006 collection of footwear are motorcycle boots with just the kind of modern twist I need. Especially these leather boots that could pass as a more stylish version of my own.

Tough looking enough to bring out your inner rebel, yet not too much so you don't look like a crazed motorcyler who just came stumbling out of a bar and hopped onto said Harley Davidson.

If you don't have the budget for United Colors[which I'm pretty sure run from $150 +] Alloy.com has a Motorcycle Boot for only $42.50!

Though, a word to the wise-it would probably not be best to light up using your new leather boots unless you really know what you're doing.

Let Gabs Rest in Peace and Move On Already!

2006-08-03T21:52:00.001-04:00

Are you tired of spotting girls with fake Chanel bags walking around in Abercrombie thinking they're hip and stylish? Do you despise girls that think because they have some Chanel ballet flats that makes them a 'fashion queen'? [Not that I don't love Chanel flats.] Does hearing one more girl [OVER 14] squeal when they hear 'Chanel' and say 'Oh my Gawd I lurve Chanel! The work she did on her last collection is so amazing!' send a cold shiver of bitterness down your spine, because you know the woman known as Coco Chanel is deceased?

Well then good news for you! Alex and Chloe have just the solution to shut up the squealing girl, with their 'Coco is Dead' necklaces.

Not that I have anything against Chanel/Karl Lagerfeld in any way, but these are just perfect to throw into any outfit to give it a morbid in a good way kick! Personally I favor the first one, and there's even a few different styles to choose from at the website. You'll most likely get a bunch of girls giving you nasty looks for allegedly dissing their 'favorite designer'-but at least you'll look splendid doing it! And who knows- maybe this will clue them in to the fact that Coco Chanel bit the dust in the 70's, and since 1983 a man has taken the role of chief designer for Chanel?
With Alex and Chloe jewelry-anything is possible.

Candies are Evil. Evil is Sin. Sin is Forgiven. So Let's Begin!

2006-08-02T00:44:00.001-04:00

After somewhat butchering the title of the post to get it to flow my way, [because I can't go off talking about sex on my blog, now can I?] I'm sure everyone knows about Candies, the brand that Kohls carries, right? The past 'faces' of the "label" include some of my least favorite starlets, including Hilary Duff and now the lovable, but pinchy-voiced Cheyenne Kimball. Honestly, her voice is quite alarming. Though compared to Hilary she's got a voice like Whitney Houston. And putting money in Hilary's pocket by purchasing the brand she endorsed, is like waving a white flag of defeat above my head.
So, in turn, I vowed to never, ever purchase anything from Candies (or Kohls, for that matter), which didn't really prove a hard task since most of their stuff isn't that cute-until these happened to cross my path.

And here they sit, on my feet as we speak. Even though it's almost 1:00 am, my time-I'm still wearing them! They feel like slippers, I tell you! Shiny, cherry red, patent leather slippers! They kind of remind me of the red crocodile print London Sole flats I tried on ages ago at the Lily Pulitzer shop by me-but those looked mighty scary on my feet, and I hate 'mock-croc' on anything besides boots and handbags. I'm so pleased with these shoes, you have no idea.
I purchased them in store at my local Kohls, but you can find them at
Kohls Online for the same $33 price.

Wrap It Up

2006-07-30T20:12:00.001-04:00

So I found an amazing black wrap dress with white polka dots on it that I've basically been living in for the past two months. So of course I have to do a post on my love of wrap dresses in general! And yesterday when I was reading Seventeen they featured some lovely wrap dresses too! That they recommend you wear over leggings or skinny jeans. Seventeen should burn to the ground, I tell you. But it isn't my fault that because my dad used to be a dentist we get free magazines all the time, is it?!

This is basically my dress, only it's green and instead of polka dots it has stripes. You'd be surprised at how incredibly flattering these are to all body types. I bet even my super tall best friend Val would look as great as 5'4 little old me. $44 here at Nordstroms.com. [Yes, I know my mom had an accident at Nordstroms, but I can't help but still want to buy clothes from there!]

But this is really what everyone needs. A versatile black wrap dress that you can do anything with. Just please not with leggings, because that would look silly. What I like to do, is take any one of my tee shirts and wear it over the dress, therefore transforming it to look like a skirt. I must've made 30 plus outfits with mine using the t-shirt method. You can snag one of these here for $68.

Oh, and thoughts on the new banner? I wanted it to kind of look like someone tore stuff out of a magazine and made it into a collage.
And I'm rather pleased with the outcome-but what do you think?

PS-Yes, the Full House quote is for real. Danny said that during yesterday's episode, so I knew I had to include it in here. Besides, Bob Saget is the coolest. This one guy I know, Travis, totally even made up a language in which Bob Saget means God Dammit!

I'd Like A Million of You Over Myself

2006-07-28T14:26:00.002-04:00

As I've stated previously, I'm really into kimonos and other Asian inspired things. Mainly kimonos though, because of the simple elegance they seem to bring to anyone who wears them. But unfortunately since I know that I can't go parading around in a traditional long kimono because I would look very silly among my fellow legging clad peers, I think I'd rather just get a nice kimono inspired piece or two. Also, kimonos are supposed to go in and out with different seasons and special occasions which would be kind of hard to coordinate. These two alternatives to hauling out the full kimono experience, are fabulous and they could be dressed down with dark wash jeans and some solid colored ballet flats. Because face it-we would be a little ridiculous to walk around school in a kimono and flats with 43242 different colors all clashing together.

Tops found at Wet Seal and Forever 21